Send her back

Journalist Jill Carroll (above) is back in the United States, but do we want her? This Iraqi sympathizer can’t stop talking about how well she was treated, WHILE BEING HELD AGAINST HER WILL, FOR RANSOME!!!!

Here are the new NFL rule changes

• A rushing defender cannot forcibly hit a passer who has one or both feet on the ground in the knee area or below, even if the initial contact is above the knee. It is not a foul if the defender is blocked (or fouled) into the passer and has no opportunity to avoid him.


• Down by contact now can be reviewed by instant replay. For instance, no longer will the ability to determine if a player was down before or after a fumble be nullified by a whistle.


• The time limit on replay reviews have been reduced from 90 to 60 seconds.


• Horse-collar tackling has been expanded to prohibit grabbing a ball carrier from behind by the inside of the jersey, as well as the shoulder pads.


• A defender no longer can line up directly across from the snapper on a field-goal attempt.


• Blocking in the back above the waist is no longer allowed by a member of the kicking team while the ball is in flight during a scrimmage kick.


• The first training-camp roster reduction this summer will be to 75 players. Previously, teams were allowed to keep 65, plus any player who played in NFL Europe for the cut after the third preseason game.

There’s an old saying: If it isn’t broke don’t fix it. People love NFL football, it’s the most popular sport on the planet, and it doesn’t need any tweaking. I don’t like the rules on hitting the quarterback, we already see too many stupid roughing calls in a game. As for the celebration rule, I think it’s funny how the league will crack down on things like this that don’t matter to anyone, but never in a million years stiffen penalties for players who break the law in “real life.” Who cares what lives are ruined through DWI’s or drug trafficking so long as they don’t celebrate on Sunday, and we can still watch them play. This is almost as funny as the NBA’s dress code. Stop concentrating on bells and whistles, and start enforcing penalties that count.

Final word on the NFL's biggest off season winners and losers.

(above) Cleveland Brown head coach Romeo Crennel knows the formula for winning in the NFL.




This is final work on free agency’s biggest winners and losers. This list isn’t a top ten or five, it’s simply comprised of the teams that have either improved the most or declined significantly. All teams not on this list are perceived as being in a state of status quo.

WINNERS:

1. Cleveland Browns: Any time you get a chance to addressee all of your glaring weaknesses on both side of the football you have made an impact for your team’s future. The Browns picked up an excellent center and run blocker in Lecharles Bently, as well as a battled tested third down receiver in Joe Jurevicius. On the other side of the ball Cleveland went with proven winners who have skills, leadership, and good locker room attitude. All of these things were desperately needed on the Browns D, and Willie McGinest, and Ted Washington can sure provide that. Any time you can run the football, convert more third downs, and stop the run you are going to win a lot more football games.

1. Washington Redskins: Although Washington has been much criticized for the sheer mass of players they have signed, beyond that there is some real quality also. Washington played great down to down defense but they have brought in players that can help them become a big play defense. Adam Archuletta is a very underrated DB who has good cover skills, a nose for the ball, and can offer good run stopping support. Just to make sure Archuletta doesn’t have to cover for too long the Redskins added DE Andre Carter. Carter has long suffered with the pitiful 49ers and has gone overlooked, but make no mistake about it he is a dominant pass rusher. On offense the Skins looked to compliment stud receiver Santana Moss, and compliment they did. Antwaan Randle El can serve as an outstanding slot receiver and pose unique problems for defense with his speed and versatility, as well as his kick return ability. Christian Fauria will be the new tight end; this move is somewhat suspect for me because Fauria come from the Patriots. In New England Fauria had the opportunity to be utilized perfectly in red-zone situation, while the Pats used other tight end for the majority of the field (Ben Watson). My favorite move by far is the addition of form 49er’s WR Brandon Lloyd. Lloyd will be a great starting receiver for the Redskins; he was well on his way to a huge breakout season last year before San Francisco turned to a rookie quarterback. Lloyd has excellent skills, and could be the biggest bargain in all of this off-season.

1. New York Giants: There is nothing I love more than a team that knows what its weaknesses are, and addressees them as best they can. New York got a nice offensive tackle in Bob Whitfield, a player who can bring a lot of game experience. The Giants added both Sam Madison and R.W McQuarters to its defensive backfield. I know these two players aren’t exactly in their primes, but they are much better than what N.Y put on the field last season and that is improvement. R.W also ad’s outstanding kick return skills when needed, as well as a nose for the end zone. McQuarters is one of those players who has a knack for making momentum-changing plays, and that is invaluable.

1. Miami Dolphins: The addition of a great big arm in Daunte Culpepper is one of the best moves of the year. Culpepper will have an above average running game, and a great trio of receivers at his disposal. To make sure Daunte remains upright in the pocket, L.J Shelton was added to the O-line. Shelton is an above average pass protection guy. On defense Miami needs a lot more help because that side is ageing quickly, but they did pick up a nice stopgap in CB Will Allen.

1. Minnesota Vikings: This is another team that knows what direction it must take, and started heading there. The Vikings added a great run blocking full back in Tony Richardson, and someone to follow him through those holes in former Ravens RB Chester Taylor. Minnesota also acquired guard Steve Hutchinson from the Seahawks, and he’s no stranger to the power running game. We know the Vikings need a lot of help on defense, but an effective clock control running game will help out any D.

1. New Orleans Saints: The Saints finally threw its fans a life preserver (no pun intended) and landed an able quarterback. Drew Brees is a guy who can step in and do the job without all of the poor clock management, and turnovers associated with the Aaron Brooks era. Brees will have a health Duece McAllister, Joe Horn, and untapped talent Daunte Stallworth. This is one move that will allow a team to compete right away. On defense the Saints added DB Omar Stoutmire. Stoutmire isn’t the best DB available by any means, but it is a significant upgrade for the Saints.

1. Tennessee Titans: This is a team with a lot of problems, but they managed to get a lot healthier this off-season. WR David Givens from the Patriots will bring a winning attitude and sure hands. DB Chris Hope also ads valuable experience fresh off of his super bowl victory with the Steelers. The best move was adding center Kevin Mawae. Mawae is still one of the finest pass and run blockers in the game today, and he is also one of the smartest. Having a player of Mawae's caliber anchor your offensive line will go a long way to a stable run game, and a lot less missed assignments. Pound for pound the titan may have come away with the best value pick-ups.

1. San Francisco 49er’s: Not a lot done here, but it is quality work. This is a young team with a lot of needs, and will mostly be rebuilt through the draft. I like the quality of moves done this off-season. 49er’s picked up former Redskins CB Walt Harris. Harris isn’t a lock down corner, but he is an excellent cover guy, a smart guy, and dependable from down to down. On offense San Francisco got a whole lot of experience on the offensive line with Larry Allen. Allen may not be the man he once was, but half of what Allen used to be is better than most linemen. He brings incredible strength to the run blocking game, and more game experience than all of the 49er’s put together. I can just see all of the young 49er’s gathered around the campfire to listen to big Larry tell tales of the ‘play-offs.’

Losers:

1. Oakland Raiders: This is truly the most baffling off-season for any of the 32 teams in pro-football. Fed up with the erratic turnover laden style of Kerry Collins the Raiders turn to the services of the erratic turnover machine Aaron Brooks. This move doesn’t make any sense; it leaves the Raiders in the exact same state they were in last year if not worse. For God’s sake the Lions got two quarterbacks who would have been better choices than Brooks. Josh McCown, and John Kitna. McCown is ripe for some good ball, and we saw flashes of that last season, and Kitna always plays great when he gets an opportunity. The best part about Kitna is how little wear and tear he has taken recently.

1. Arizona Cardinals: The Arizona Cardinals examined their team needs and came up with the dumbest possible answer. Edgerrin James?? I’m sorry but I was under the impression that the Card’s just drafted J.J Arrington at RB last year. Surely he isn’t a bust already. The Cardinals problem is that they can’t block on offense, and they can’t make enough stops on defense. Fix up that shoddy O-line and you’ll see Arrington making some pretty good runs. I think with “Edge” that is too much money going into one position on a team with multiple needs.

1. Baltimore Ravens: WOW, what’s going on? This is a football team with a lot of needs, and they didn’t addressee any of them. There were many, many free agent quarterbacks available that could have served Baltimore well if not as the starter, than certainly as a back-up plan. Brian Griese comes to mind immediately, especially for a team in need of offensive leadership. A wide receiver would have been nice, but instead Baltimore opted to “swap” power running backs. After losing Chester Taylor to the Vikings, the Ravens brought in Denver’s Mike Anderson. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mike Anderson but this is a lateral move at best. You should also consider the fact that Denver routinely produces running backs that look like world-beaters with their superior system and excellent run blocking. Personally I feel like retaining Chester Taylor is a better move here because he is a known quantity. I also think your second running back should bring something to the table that your starter doesn’t, here Jamal Lewis and Mike Anderson are almost identical in style. Where is your change of pace guy? Who’s your third down back?

1. St. Louis Rams: I know that the Rams aren’t in the best financial situation in all of football, but they do have some glaring weaknesses. First the health of Marc Bulger has to start becoming an issue; it is getting more and more apparent that he cannot last an entire season as the starter. A better back up plan than Martin or Fitzpatrick would have been a very wise move. It is also becoming apparent that Rams quarterbacks get injured with alarming frequency, Kurt Warner got his bell rung so many times he still hasn’t divorced that beast he’s married to. Maybe it was Mike Martz’s pass happy system, if that’s the case so be it, but perhaps that O-line needs to be addressed. Last but not least, we all know the Rams need between 10-11 new starting defensive players. St. Louis suffered a major loss in safety Adam Archuletta and replaced him with Corey Chavous. Chavous comes from Minnesota where the word defense means “lawyer up” after a scandal. Chavous is among the most overrated players in all of football, he’s been on one of the worst pass defenses for a few years now and has failed to make it any better. It is beyond me why he was sought after at all, I watch a lot of NFC north games as a Bears fan, and Chavous is frequently out of position and useless in run support. Corey may make a few highlight reel plays a season but that doesn’t make up for all of times he doesn’t know what is going on.

1. Houston Texans: The Texans are in sorry shape, but it’s not as bad as you think. David Carr can pass with the best of them, and Andre Johnson has the makings of a true stud at WR, and Dominick Davis could be a very good running back. If only Houston could block a soul up front this offense could work very well. People want to point fingers at David Carr but it’s dam hard to throw the football when your flat on your back at all times, just look at Bledsoe’s last season with Buffalo. A little blocking goes a long way to show what your skill positions can really accomplish. Defensively Houston has more problems that that. They can’t stop the run, they can’t rush the passes, and they can’t stop the pass…. I’ll stop there before I sound too much like Jim Mora. This off-season Houston signed a glut of free agents; unfortunately it is the who’s who list of nobody’s. I have never seen such a long list of signings for guys I have never heard of in my entire life. With the exception of Jeb Putzier and excellent receiving tight end from Denver. Given that they have so many holes to fill maybe that was the way to go, We’ll see. I just hope that Texans DO NOT draft Reggie Bush. The Texans need to pick up picks, and fix the line on both side of the ball so they can compete. If they take Bush it’s going to be a long couple of years watching him run for his life for ten minutes a snap to get back to the original line of scrimmage. Houston has a golden opportunity to trade their pick for a mass of picks, and get a lot better in a hurry.

1. Chicago Bears: I am a Bears fan, but I have to be a little tough on Chicago here. The Bears are a team on the cusp of being a contender but so far they are standing pat. I heard a lot of talk before this off-season started about Chicago wanting to pick up a quality tight end, a decent cornerback, and good slot receiver. So far none of this has been accomplished, and there have been players available. I will not harass them for passing on Randle El, because he got far more money than he is worth, but the other positions have gone unfilled. I like the fact that Chicago is cap healthy, but there is money to burn this year and the Bears need help in pass defense. If you think I’m crazy talking defense then watch a tape of their loss to Carolina in the playoffs. A quality tight end ( Jeb Putzier) also would have made Rex Grossman’s life a lot easier. I will give Chicago credit for getting Brian Griese, anytime you get a starting quality QB to play second string it’s a major improvement.

1. Indianapolis Colts: The Indianapolis Colts are under the impression that one of the most accurate kickers in all of football is to blame for their playoff blunders. The addition of Adam Vinatieri. Does not make this a better football team. Lets remember that the Colts should not have even been in a position to attempt that field goal, because a Troy Polamalu interception of Peyton Manning on the Colts previous touchdown drive should have stood and effectively ended the game. I think switching kickers is a strange move and paying that much for one is even stranger. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing like a clutch kicker, but I think the price was too high. If the Colts really want to know why they lose playoff games they need to examine that no-huddle offense. You may light the world on fire in the regular season, and score tons upon tons of points, but the playoffs are different. When you go three and out quickly in the playoffs, and fatigue your offensive lineman by holding them at the line of scrimmage like Manning does a team like Pittsburgh will make you pay for it. Against quality defense you can’t go 3 and out that many times to open a game, the opposition will burry you with their own ball control and blitz the heck out of your tired lineman, who are standing in position for 35 seconds a snap for no good reason. Huddle up, run the ball and don’t let your QB get impatient and call bad plays.

Reader Feedback

Reader I need you input, I am currently comprising a list of the greatest beers known to man, and I could use some insight. Tell me of some obscure beer I need to try before bringing this article to press.

Kwiki Mart rest-room

I do a lot of traveling as part of my weekly routine, and much it is spent on long stretches of highways and other connecting roads, and I am forced to stop at many out of the way type gas stations to relieve myself. Frequently the bathroom door is locked and the key must be obtained, of course this means you have to be handed a grimy fly swatter from some Arab who can barely take his attention away from the satellite cast Aljazeera T.V long enough to help you. I recently reached my breaking point when I went to an Apu style mart and asked to use the restroom. I was given the grimy key and preceded to the restroom conveniently located on the opposite side of the building. Much to my dismay, and I should point out that I really had to go, the door was jammed and would not open. I finally went back inside and asked about it, where I was told that door was tricky and required some shaking and pulling. I tried this terrific advice in the exact order I was told, I shacked, pulled, and even did some prying, but it would not budge. Upon my third trip inside the store the kindly foreigner finally agreed to escort me to the door and try his own hand at opening it, after some shaking, pulling, prying, and some rattling the door finally opened. Inside was the most horrifying filth ridden excuse for a toilet that I have even seen in my entire life! My question is this: Why are you locking this door? Clearly it isn’t to keep the filth out. Are these gas station trying to keep the dirt locked in? Maybe it’s a public service, keeping all that disgusting bacteria from reaching the outside world. Whatever the case may be, it’s way, way, way too much trouble to take a piss. I will never buy anything at a station that does this, it’s absurd.

Gays are people too!!!

I would like to take an opportunity to applaud the brave work done recently by Hollywood, and the movie industry. Of course I am talking about the groundbreaking film “Brokeback Mountain.” It does my heart good to see a film touch sensitive issues, and take on America on those issues. I can’t tell you how it pains me to hear about people with such old world ideas, behaving in such an archaic and bigoted manner. American’s needs to be enlightened join this brave new world and embrace faggots and dykes as fellow human beings. I can no longer sit idly by and watch my fellow man be ridiculed by others, I will stand up and support the queens and rug munchers. Queer’s everywhere can count on my unwavering support, and I will take this issue a step further; I am willing to suggest that butt pirates be given their own state!! One state in our union of 52 to belonging only to homos. Think about the advantages here to everyone. All of the butch super ugly women won’t be around in the straight states to take up our bar stools, or use up our bowling alleys. There will be no more disappointing encounters for desperate straight fat guys. A gay nation will happen! One nation under rainbows. There are still some concerns for an appropriate fag state, such as; how will the export business work? Surely the queer state will quickly die out without some imports. The fags are notorious for sexually transmitted diseases, and not reproducing, so how will they keep their numbers up? We will have to act quickly as a straight nation to export all new homos and dykes into the fag state, before they run out people. On the other hand what if an ass F@c%er has sex with a transvestite and decides he likes women again? Will we allow him to be imported back into the straight nation? When I ask that question I mean it with  his best interests in mind.
     I’m not sure if my brave ideas will ever become realized, but it let it be said that I am a man of enlightenment, and will never stop until I have reached a higher quality of life for my fellow man.

Hurricane Anferney knocks over a gas station!

Can you imagine opening the newspaper and seeing that headline? You would think a boxer lost his marbles and went on a crime spree. Unfortunately Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) thinks there should be hurricane names that sound black. This is not a joke, an elected official actually said this. Sheila Jackson even went so far as to say that the current name for storms are too “lily white.” Sounds to me like someone is a racist, and it isn’t the weatherman.

Oakland Raiders are lost

What are the Raiders thinking? You part ways with the erratic, inconsistent, interception prone, fumbling machine Kerry Collins in order to sign the erratic, inconsistent, interception prone, fumbling machine Aaron Brooks?? I really don’t get it. This is by far the worst off-season move of 2006.

Hilarious post on Pamela Anderson's "Blog"

(left) a headless Pam Anderson, I finally found a picture of the perfect woman!




I was surfing the fox channel web site when I cam across a link for Pamela Anderson's "Blog" site for the show "Stacked." It never ceases to amuse me that people actually think Pam Anderson is writing her own blog, or answering the comments posted by any of her pathetic zit faced readers. Come on, if Pam knew anything about computers I wouldn't have this 45 minute video of her, now would I? There is nothing on these stars blogs accept information on when to watch their show, or what talk show they will be on. I did find one comment (clearly the comments are posted uniformly no matter what) that really made me laugh. The comment is below:


Hi Pam (if this really is you)I would just like to let you know that I would bang you silly. Thanks.
Posted by: Frank June 8, 2005 02:33 PM

Middle school teacher accused of having sex with a 14 year old

Debra LaFave (above) had the charges against her dropped today, and im guessing it was at the request of the alleged victim. DAM!! I wish I got raped once in a while. Who says the school system is failing young men?

Here is a great article by NFL.com's Pat Kirwan

(March 20, 2006) -- There is no doubt that the fast-approaching NFL draft brings a buzz to the media and the fans that is second only to playoff games.
For some reason, the top 32 players selected from the college ranks make a lot of money and the dreams and hopes of the franchise rest squarely on the shoulders of these young men.
Who gets Reggie Bush? Is Matt Leinart the next great quarterback? How far up does a team have to go to get Jay Cutler? Who can resist the athleticism of Vince Young? Is D'Brickashaw Ferguson the next Willie Roaf? Has anyone looked better coming out of college as a defensive end than Mario Williams? You get the picture!
Well, before we get too caught up in the hype, I thought it would be a good idea to go back and look at last year's top pick for each club. (I included the second-round selection of teams that didn't have a first-round pick, and four teams had two first-round selections.) The top 36 players, if you will, and how much bang for the buck the teams got for their picks.
In the past two years, this "elite" group of program-savers averaged about a $3 million signing bonus and a salary of about $500,000. In plain English, NFL teams will spend about $100 million in bonus money and another $20 million in salary on the top 36 players drafted this year, just like they did last year. In fact, with the new CBA, teams might spend even more money.


The 25th overall pick in the 2005 draft, Jason Campbell didn't attempt a pass last season.
Forgetting production, which takes time to develop, here's a look at the amount of time the top players were on the field learning how to play the pro game. A few years from now, a number of this year's top draft picks will claim they are underpaid but they will conveniently forget how much money they made back in their rookie year and what the club got in return for the cash.
The average top pick from the 2005 draft started seven games last season. There were only three 16-game starters: New England's Logan Mankins, Kansas City's Derrick Johnson and Dallas' DeMarcus Ware. Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay), Chris Spencer (Seattle) and Jason Campbell (Washington) didn't start a game.
When it came to the number of plays in a game, 20 of the 36 played more than 50 percent of the plays in each game and the average percentage of plays for these top 2005 draft picks was 49 percent. Got the picture? An average signing bonus of $3 million, an average salary of $500,000 and less than half the plays: overpaid or underpaid?
Since they averaged less than half the snaps on offense and defense, you would think they must have been on most of the special teams. Seven of these high-priced players did not play one snap of special teams. The average number of special-teams plays per player for the 16-game schedule was 62 plays, or slightly under four plays per game.
Thomas Davis of the Panthers contributed the most with 257 special-teams plays. The next closest rookie was Steelers tight end Heath Miller with 162 plays. The average NFL team has close to 500 special-teams per season. NFL special-teams coaches can look forward to the top rookies contributing on about 12 percent of the special-teams plays, but they also know some of their better veteran special-teams players get released or not re-signed to accommodate the big rookie salaries.
So, who got their money's worth in sweat last year from their top pick? Keyshawn Johnson made a point to me the other day when I asked him the question, "Now that you are free to talk to any team, who would want you?" The first thing he said was a team that wants a guy who plays over 1,000 plays a season every year. That point stuck with me all week.


Cedric Benson made just one start for Chicago despite being picked fourth overall.
The top 36 players in the draft last year produced only one player with 1,000-plus plays -- Logan Mankins. There were some other rookies that combined their special-teams plays with their regular offense or defense plays to give their team its money's worth: Derrick Johnson (1,113 plays), Mankins (1,114), Pacman Jones (954), Heath Miller (945), Jammal Brown (893) and Fabian Washington (890).
I understand and agree with the fact that quarterbacks take time to develop, and sitting the first season is part of the process. I also understand that injuries play a big part in playing time.
But something just doesn't sit right with me when the money doesn't equal the work. If the average top pick averages seven starts, less than 50 percent of the snaps, and 12 percent of the special-teams plays, then maybe there should be an adjustment in how much these players in training make.
A very successful Wall Street broker told me that at his firm, the young brokers don't really have a change in base pay for three years, but the bonuses go up as the brokers become more competent. That sounds like a good formula to me.

Nothing scientific about scientology.

Tom Cruise threatened not to promote Mission Impossible 3, if Paramount and Viacom allowed the second airing of a South Park episode that makes fun of Scientologists. The company caved and gave into the big baby. I wish they would have stuck to their guns, can’t they just promote the film with ‘capote’, you know that guy that won best actor that is also in this movie. Get a grip Cruise, you’re a freak and nobody cares.

Flight plan more like make other plans

I try not to step on the toes of my good friends at great movie blog, but I don’t think they’ll mind my talking about a few old films. I will make one comment on the newly released V for Vendetta, it was superb. I can’t say the same for the ill fated “Flight plan” It has been a long time since I have sat through such a boring piece of crap like that. At first I thought I had made a mistake and was watching “Panic Room 2” but much to my dismay it wasn’t even as good as that would have been. It was actually cruel to almost suck us into the intrigue of what in the world happened to that poor woman’s daughter? It must be some amazing sinister plot right? There must be some reason why these alleged kidnappers would needed to fetch up such an elaborate plan? Sadly our answer is no, there is no good reason. The assailant is the most obvious of people in the air marshal, and his demands are sadly cleyshayed. “I want fifty million dollars, and a jet standing by”….are you joking? For the love of god! Not to mention the fact that the entire plan was predicated on the fact that none on the dam plane noticed the little girl to begin with. The entire plan would have been foiled had Jodi Foster not boarded the plane first, or had the flight attendant noticed them coming in. The funny thing is the flight attendant who is in on this ‘clever heist’ isn’t even the one who worked the gate, and had the bad memory. If it were my film, I would have made the girl who was in on it, having been the one who doesn’t remember seeing the little girl, that’s just me…and anyone else with half a brain!!!!! This is such a stupid movie with a lot of build up for a tired old plot, that isn’t even executed all that well. Jodi Foster may have a reputation for being picky, but that’s two stinkers in a row by my count.

Randy and Paula are responsible for this American Idol disaster

(left) I hope your happy dummy, now we wont hear the gorgeous Melissa McGhee ever again. In an era of 'pop' star females McGhee could have been a Pat Benetar, and thats a pretty darn rare thing.









--(DIRECTLY above) She' a complete dolt,
but get a load of those sandbags!



Dear lord! What are people watching? Tonight on American Idol one of the most talented people by far was voted off, and some of the worst remained. The beautiful and talented Melissa McGhee was the first of the top twelve to be put down by a voting public that clearly is blind, deaf, and or dumb. In five season of this program McGhee’s version of Heart’s ‘what about love’ is one of the finest female performances in Idol’s history. Reaming contestant Kevin Covais is miserable singers in American Idol, but somehow managed to NOT be in the bottom three Wednesday night. Who is voting? Bucky Covington, and Kellie Pickler also lack a serious amount of singing talent. Lets face it, Pickler’s nice looking, but she can’t really carry a tune all that well, and Covington should be doing karaoke in a Honkey tonk bar somewhere.

So who’s to blame for this injustice? Look no further than Randy Jackson and Paula Abdual. Like it or lump it, people listen to all of the judges and when only one of them is being realistic, it hurts the chances for the public to make an intelligent decision. Randy and Paula have been blowing smoke up Kevins tail since day one for no good reason. Had they been real and dogged Covais a bit like Simon has, we wound not have said goodbye to one of the more talented contestants tonight. The damage is done, I just hope that Randy and Paula realize how they impacted one of the most talented contestants in favor of what is a complete joke in Kevin, and Bucky. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things because Chris is so much better than anyone who has ever been on Idol before, but it does rob us of a better competition down the stretch.

NFL free-agency

(above) Browns new center Lecharles Bentley.



The NFL free-agency period is heating up and there are already some clear-cut winners, loser’s, and head scratches.

The Strange: The Arizona Cardinals signed former Colts running back Edgerine James to a lucrative 4-year deal, but is it a good idea? I’m not doubting the talents of ‘Edge’ or his appeal on the open market, but Arizona just used a high first round draft pick on running back JJ. Arrington. This is a little bit of a quick hook, for a top ten pick RB. This is also the age of the salary cap, and I don’t see how a team with many needs on offensive and defensive line can possibly spend big dollars on two running backs. Maybe Arrington could make yards if he had holes to run through.

I know Washington is trying desperately to sign everyone who ever played the game of football, but I think they will be sorely disappointed with the services of former Patriots tight end Christian Fauria. Fauria was excellent for New England IN HIS ROLE, as a leading man, I just don’t know. Fauria was used in the red-zone with great success but the Patriots used other tight ends for the majority of the football field. Deep seem patterns, and perimeter work was done by Daniel Graham, and Ben Watson.

The Redskins also have the third most confusing move of the off-season by inking Antwaan Randle El to a contract worth almost 30 million dollars!! I know Randle El is a good return man, and serves as a double threat guy, but for that kind of money you can sign a bona fide number one threat at WR. For god’s sake lets not forget that Randle El has been making his name by playing opposite of Hines Ward, one of the very best players in all of football.

The Lions signed former Cowboys tight end Dan Campbell, he is an excellent all purpose TE, but the Lions just signed Marcus Pollard last season. Pollard is among the best receiving threats at TE’s in the game, and for a team with lots of (potentially great) receivers this seems a suspicious move. You only get one football per down.

The Rams were looking for help in pass coverage, but instead turned to former Vikings defensive back Corey Chavous. Chavous is among the most overrated players in all of football having anchored one of the NFL’s most consistently horrible pass defenses in Minnesota. I know it takes more than one man to make a pass-D good (or reasonable) but this also speaks to Chavous’s leadership skills, having no considerable improvement of his teammates throughout his stay in Minny.

The Best: The Lions landed former Bengal’s QB John Kitna. Kitna is both an experienced quarterback with talent, but he is also an untapped commodity. He hasn’t played much recently, and hasn’t taken a lot of punishment. If the Lions have drafted the right receivers, they’ll know for sure when Kitna plays.

The Vikings signed Ravens runner Chester Taylor. Taylor is a good strong every down runner, with above average explosiveness. If the Vikings want to have a ground game, and start to mask their bad defense a little bit, than this is guy for the job.

The New Orleans Saints landed Drew Brees. This is the player that could potentially tap into the talent ridden, underachieving offensive unit that is the Saints. If Joe Horn and Deuce McAllister still have legs, then Brees will make that train run. Although I think this is one of the best moves that have been made, I also think that the Saints have already wasted far too much time on the erratic Aaron Brooks.

The New York Giants get a four star rating for the pick-up of Lions corner back R.W. McQuarters. R.W. is a big time nickel back, and punt return man who has shown time after time the propensity to make game changing plays. When R.W gets an interception or a big return, the end zone is inevitable. McQuarters could still be an above average starting CB, but as a nickel man there aren’t many number three receivers that I would take in coverage over McQuarters.


The Rams made a nice deal with defensive lineman La’Roi Glover. Glover can still be an effective interior pass rusher, which is a hot commodity in today’s NFL. There are very few teams who have effective rushers from their interior two, ask Tampa Bay how important that was during their super bowl run.

The Redskins made a plethora of moves, but only two of the are good ones. The skins did pick up value with Andre Carter, and Adam Archuleta. Carter is a superb pass rusher at DE and not a bad player against the run either. If Carter didn’t play for San Francisco he would probably already have been to a couple of pro-bowls. Archuleta is one of those players who are consistently good, he may not be the same explosive playmaker he once was, but he will never be seen getting beat badly or making bonehead plays. These are two players who can best be described as solid, on a defensive built on the team concept it seems a perfect fit.

The Dolphins had a pretty darn good period so far in their two pick-ups. QB Daunte culpepper will be the happiest man in south Florida when he sees his offensive teammates. Marty Booker, Chris Chambers, and Randy Mcmichael easily make one of the most imposing three headed receiving cores in the national football league, and oh yes, there is a devastating one two punch running attack. Culpepper is a true talent and has long been maligned under some bad systems, and one of the dumbest head coaches in recent memory. Under Miami’s top notch coaching staff, Daunte will rekindle his knack for top-flight play. Culpepper will also have a new tackle for protection in former Brown L.J. Shelton.

The Titans picked up one of the very best offensive lineman in all of football in center Kevin Mawae. Mawae’s leadership skills will be invaluable to an offensive as young as
The Titans.

The bad: The Jets picked up Steelers lineman Kimo Van Oelhoffen to bolster their pass rush, but the departure of center Kevin Mawae hurts their pass protection. For a team with a very delicate QB situation, I question this trade off.

The 49er’s picked up Antonio Bryant at wide receiver, I usually am a fan of Bryant, but not when you part ways with Brandon Lloyd. Lloyds may be one of the best-kept secrets in all of football, a gifted wide out with great talent. Last year Lloyd was having a true break out season until the 49er’s turned to their rookie quarterback.

The Ravens parted ways with Chester Taylor in favor of Mike Anderson. I love Mike Anderson but it’s so darn hard to judge a RB in the Denver system, the Bronco’s turn out pro-bowl running backs at an alarming rate. Taylor was a know commodity to Baltimore, and they would have been better served bringing him back.

The very biggest winners: It has been a long time since I have seen an organization go from utter stupidity to pure genius overnight. I suppose its time to give Romeo Crennel his due; he has most certainly had a positive impact of this organization and is about to rejuvenate Cleveland football. The Cleveland Browns are coming away from free agency with some very skillful signings, in players that will allow them to compete right away. Center Lecharles Bentley and defensive tackle Ted Washington will do the two things that make teams win football games. Run the football, and stop the run. Even at Big Ted’s age, he still commands a double team, and will make instant stars out of the Cleveland linebackers who wont have to worry about eating so many blocks. Bentley on the offensive side of the ball is a talented run blocker, and leader in pass protection. The Browns also got wide receiver Joe Jurevicius, a wide out that adds guts, leadership, and heart to a young offense. Jurevicius can add those critical tough catches on third down, you don’t always think about players like Joe but ask Seattle how many touchdown drives happened because Jurevicius made a crucial conversion on a third and long.

Fight Night Round 3 is a Knockout, but......

This is a very difficult review for me to do, because my feelings are mixed. Fight Night 3 is a superb game, but I’m not sure it’s different enough to have warranted a sequel. We’ll deal with the good first; the graphics are absolutely astounding. The fighter’s likenesses are so realistic it’s scary. The first time you see Joe Frazier coming at you with a big uppercut, you’ll be so amazed you will forget to put your guard up. Even better than the look of the fighters is the way they change throughout a fight, the more punishment a boxer takes the more swelling, and bruising his face will accumulate. Cuts open up around the eyes, and blood drips with gruesome realism. When the fighters are in their corners between rounds, and have taken a hellacious beating their eyes will glaze over, and the fighter will be looking into the ceiling instead of at his manager. You’ll have an opportunity to mitigate your pugilist’s face as the cut doctor. You can apply cold compresses to his face and keep those eyes from swelling shut, and work on closing those cuts up. This fight doctor business isn’t just for peripherals, if your eye swells shut, or a cut rages out of control the referee will stop the fight, and you will loose. Your defenses are also weaker if your vision is seriously hampered, so keep your guard up. One of the most fun things is fighting someone you get a nice cut open on, and working it over till he can’t continue. This strategy can even bail you out of a fight your loosing, if your behind on the score cards, but open up a gash on you opponent you can dance around the ring, and simply pepper him with jabs and keep the blood pouring. The sounds of the game are also very good, in terms of punches getting thrown, and landing on flesh, but it is lacking in a lot of ways. The crowd is very subdued, even in a championship bout. You never hear a particularly good outburst, even after a tremendous knockdown,
Or momentum changing left hook. You also never actually hear, or see the referee. You only learn of his warnings through the ring announcers, which are also lack luster. The call of the fight isn’t bad, but it’s the same old catch phrases we have heard in fight night 2.
Game play is where Fight Night 3 will not loose any points. This is hands down the coolest and most realistic boxing experience ever created. The fighting really gives you a sense of real life boxing strategy, and there are a numerous amount of fight strategies you may employ. No matter how strong your fighter is, if you just walk up and try to unload on a guy, your probably going to get KO’d. You have to break down your opponent, using the jab and find his weakness. Some fighters are a tad tubby, and don’t have a very good body, if that’s the case a series of jabs, hooks and uppercuts to the midsection will have him reeling in no time, and that’s when he’ll open up that kisser for a good night hook. If you fight a dancer he’ll try to pepper you with quick shots, and run you ragged, you must cut the right down and trap him in the corner to finally unload on him. I can never say enough about the actual boxing, is incredible, it’s addictive, and it gets better and better. You build a good fighter and may think the game is a joke, but as you advance on your career your opponents get considerably smarter, and will fight you better. It’s midway through your career that things really change, and make you think more and more about your fighter’s attributes and strategy.
There are some cool things to buy in the ‘fight store’ you can purchase boxing gloves and mouth guards that give you a boost in a certain area like power or agility. There is also a host of specialty punches, and illegal blows that you may buy and use. The store is pretty cool, and you unlock more items as you play and they actually make a difference, it’s not simply for style. You can also purchase a manager or promoter prior to a big fight, to give you a boost in speed, power, or heart, unfortunately there are only four guys. Not nearly enough choice, it would have been interesting to see more focused specialties for sale in the way of fight managers.

The Bad: Some of the coolest things available for purchase in Fight Night 2 are conspicuously absent in this installment. You used to be able to buy special songs, pyrotechnics, and ring girls to help you make your entrance to the ring. The better the equipment gave you a mild boost of heart, or stamina. This was an interesting little extra, if you won a lot of big money fights you could have supermodel girls escort you to the ring, and if you didn’t make a lot of scratch you would get a hood rat or two. I really don’t know why they omitted this, it was neat to change up your trip down the tunnel. There also haven’t been any improvements in the create a fighter. The face morphing is astonishing and easy to use, but it hasn’t been built upon a bit. No new base faces, no new facial areas to mess with, just the same old. I also think the actually venues you fight in are less numerous, and less interesting places. There is also a shockingly low number of great boxers available to you, considering that this is the definitive boxing game there should have been more effort expended to bring all the great names to this title. Boxers like Foreman, Tyson, and Braddock are absent. I already mentioned the referees strange absence from the ring, I also think it would be interesting to see the judges once in a while. You could get to know them, and even understand how they score a fight, what they look for as individuals….but hey, its not my dam job to come up with these ideas it’s EA’s, SO GET ON IT FOLKS!
The most disappointing thing in Fight Night 3 is by far the training mode. This is where you have an opportunity to improve your boxer’s skills in either speed, power, hurt, cut, stamina, agility, speed, or heart. Unfortunately there are no new exercises and the others are exactly the same as they were in Fight Night 2. The new aspects to boxing include stun punches, and flash KO’s, but both of require analog stick work that is difficult to pull off. You need a long time to get it done, so they really become irrelevant.

Overall: Fight Night 3 is the greatest boxing game of all time; it just isn’t different enough from its predecessor to praise it too much. It’s a good package, but it should have been a much more polished package than it is. In some ways it feels like a replica, that doesn’t even have as much care put into it as its predecessor. I was very disappointed at some of the sounds, the lack of variety in training, and the lack of boxing legends at my disposal. The saving grace here is the excellent AI, and the tremendously cool amounts of varying boxing styles, and defensive styles that exist to use and compete against. You will find yourself amazed at how different you will be fighting against certain opponents, or even how much you change your style throughout the course of a fight. I do recommend Fight Night 3 it is an awesome, awesome game, but it should have been even better.

Side Note: Some of the images of Fight Night 3 on the 360, look absolutely nothing like the game I have on X-Box, which leaves me to wonder if I am getting totally screwed because all the effort went into the version for the new machine.

Shame on the Academy

It occurred to me during the Academy awards that the entire institution of the award show has been compromised. It has very little to do with excellent film making anymore, but a lot more to do with pushing the right agenda. Can you honestly tell me that the best pictures of the year all had relentless political agenda’s behind them? When is the last time you remember the best actor, best actress, best director, and best picture, all go to different movies?? Simple, the last time a bunch of liberals were trying desperately to please several different groups of people. The academy should be ashamed of themselves, they have completely compromised their institution, in favor of political gains and it’s a shame. The Awards should be about celebrating the most well made movies, and performances of the year, period.

Best Picture: I can live with Crash being best picture, it was a very good movie, but I don’t think for a second it was the best movie I saw last year. Crash is about as subtle as a kick in the crotch, lets be realistic about this. I think it take more skill to provoke thought through the clever telling of a story, however; Crash is absurdly deliberate. When I think of great works throughout history, I think of books like Crime and Punishment, novels that couldn’t be deliberate for fear of their government's. They had to be clever about their social commentary, and it invoked the thinker in all of us, they didn’t beat us over the head with messages like Crash. If Crash was not about race relations, people would have called it heavy handed, and average.

I saw two movies last year that were indisputable the most well made pictures of the season: Cinderella man and Walk the Line. Unfortunately there just aren’t any social issues in either of these films, so haw can they be honored? If Ron Howard had made Max Bear a homophobe, we’d be talking about his big win right now.

NBC dropped the ball on the winter games

NBC did a poor job of covering the Olympic games. I always love to watch the Olympics, but the coverage for these past winter games was more than disappointing. One of the best parts of the games is getting to know a foreign city like you normally would not. Getting to see the sights and sounds of Torino, the majestic mountainsides and native people is all a part of the experience, but there was none of that from NBC. The coverage rarely took us out and about for sights and sounds, and left me feeling robbed of the usually Olympic experience. It’s a shame too because the summer games in Athens were very good, and I had no complaints, but this time around it was way too much of Bob Costas sitting in a studio. Who decided Bob Costa’s was entertaining anyway?

Suffering 2, at a glance

I had an opportunity to play The Suffering 2, Ties that Bind, this weekend, and I must say I am fairly impressed. The cinematic experience is there in full force, and the first half hour of the game play more like a movie, than a game, but they really do a good job of getting you into their story. You play as Tourque a former inmate of Carnate island prison facility, Torque is mentally disturbed but it unclear just how nuts you really are. Your brains are scrambled and memory torn to shreds, but weather or not your evil is uncertain, and up for grabs in your decision making (as in the original). I really love the way Suffering 2 gives you story throughout the game, using Torque’s hallucinations/visions/insanity? It is far more interesting than cut scenes, and far more intense. The first time you’re not sure if you should be shooting or watching, you’ll know what I mean (it’s usually obvious). The action seems to be about the same as it was before, there is a bevy of new monsters, and weapons at your disposal. The graphics don’t look particularly better than the original, but those were pretty darn good, so it’s not so disappointing. I only played this game for a few hours, but at a glance I think Suffering 2 is pretty cool. I’ll revisit this upon completion, but I am anticipating an interruption in favor of the highly anticipated Fight Night 3.

The 100 greatest songs list, has one mistake

Nobodeys perfect, and I am no different. I neglected one of my favorite song of all time by acciednt, when I published the 100. The King of Wishful Thinking by Go-West. This tunereally deserves it's due, and a spot in my top 100.

JUST SAY NO!

Ladies and gentlemen I give you the downfall of western civilization, as we know it. I can no longer sit by idly and watch this travesty of humanity, this slap in the face of human decency! Of course, I am speaking about the condom. Rubbers were invented by the devil, and have overtaken our good sense as a supposedly civilized society. I absolutely can’t take any more of these commercials where people are prancing around pretending like condoms are a good idea; can you believe the Gaul of these people? I can’t and I can hold my tongue no longer, rubbers suck. I would ALMOST rather not get laid at all than have to use a freaking prophylactic, and anyone who says otherwise is fibbing his ass off. “I love condoms, there’s nothing like that tight grippe feeling in the groin, that turns your nuts blue and smells for days. I also enjoy taking them off, ripping pubic hair out by the fistful,” –yeah ok, find me someone who says that. The truth is that Rubbers should be outlawed; there are enough good measures of birth control available today that DO NOT completely destroys the entire experience of sex. There is the pill, diaphragm, patch, morning after pill, and the pill. Did I mention the pill ladies?? Enough is enough, it’s ok for chicks sure, it sucks for guys and it’s high time we fought back. We get to know you a little bit, we trust each other, and it’s time to throw out that god-forsaken measure of birth control because otherwise, I’ll be in the bathroom jerking off and trying desperately to actually enjoy an orgasm.

Once in a man’s life he must take a stand against something he believes to be a just and right cause, and my time is now. Join me men, and fight the good fight against crappy, numb, un-enjoyable, painful, non-feeling sex. If you have known your ladies for more than a month, I urge you to take your stand and throw out those latex devils. You’re a grown man, and you will enjoy your sex, if not………well were actually much too horny most of the time to make ultimatums, but we won’t be happy about it.

The 10 best buddy cop moments in histroy

It’s no great secret that the buddy cop movie is the best genre of all time, and those wacky yet dynamic duo movies have produced some of the most memorable moments in movie history. There’s nothing like two cops with decidedly different styles, and ethnicities coming together for a common goal. Before I jump right into the list, I think I should explain the rules first. What qualifies as a ‘buddy cop’ movie? I have given this a lot of thought, and really the characters don’t even have to be cops, as long as one of them has some loose affiliation with law enforcement. The characters must be complete opposites of echo her in terms of personality, yet find a way to bond with each other and crack the case. There doesn’t have to be an ethnicity barrier, but it seems to help.

10) I-SPY: Owen Wilson is breaking into Arnold gundars office to prove that he is in possession of, and selling a top-secret spy plane. Wilson is getting the job done when K.O Kelly Robinson (Edie Murphy) enter the office and sets off the laser security system. Special agent Alex Scott (Wilson) tries to get Robinson to put on a burglar mask:

Robinson: “Hey what’s this? It looks like a sock.”
Alexander Scott: “It’s a secret spy mask.”
Robinson: “Hey man, this is a sock!”

The hilarity continues on a long and very, very humorous chase scene. Another scene worth mention is when Kelly Robinson is being tested and captured by Special Agent Rachael Wright. Wright has Robinson tied to chair when she orders one of her henchmen to cut off Robinson’s penis, to which he responds: “Cut his penis off, how do you open up with that, whatever happened to ruff a guy up a little?”

9) Lethal Weapon 3: Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) gets ready to pull Roger Murtah (Danny Glover) off of a bobby trapped toilet. The two have a very amusing conversation about whether they will go on3, or 1,2,3 then go.

8)Showtime: Officer Terry Sellers (Eddie Murphy) mimics the stiff monotone Det. Mitch Peterson (Robert Deniro) as they film a commercial for their reality cop show. Sellers says what Mitch is trying to spit out; “coming to you Friday nights at eight,” in a funny retarded voice.

This is a very funny movie that never got the respect it deserved as a comedy; Eddie Murphy never fails to make you laugh.

7) Midnight Run: Jack Walsh (Robert Deniro) is trying to get Johnathan Mardukas (Charles Grodan) to board an airplane.

Jonathan Mardukas: “It means I can’t fly. I also suffer from acrophobia, and claustrophobia.”
Jack Walsh: “I’ll tell you what, if you don’t cooperate, you’re gonna suffer from fistophobia.”

This is another hilarious film that not enough people remember. Another noteable scene occurs much later in the film, while rideing in the box car of a train. Deniro’s character is mad at Mardukas and will not speak to him, so Mardukas (Charles Grodan) has a conversation by himself, playing both him and Jack Walsh in the same rude sarcastic manner Walsh usually speaks to him.

6) The Last Boy scout: Joe Hallenbeck (Bruce Willis) and Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans) are in a car chase, trying to catch a vehicle they believe has a case with a bomb in it on board. Dix makes a crude drawing of a bomb, and holds it up to the window at the other car:

Joe Hallenbeck: “Now what are you doing?”
Jimmy Dix: “I’m drawing them a picture.”
Joe Hallenbeck: “What is it?”
Jimmy Dix: “It’s a bomb.”
Joe Hallenbeck: “It doesn’t look like a bomb, it looks like an apple with lines coming out of it. What are they gonna say, “don’t open the briefcase its full of fresh fruit?”

Another underrated movie, that is absolutely chock full of funny snappy one liners, and great action.

5) Die hard 3: John McClain (Bruce Willis) has to stand in harlem wearing a sign that says ‘I hate Ni@$%rs ‘ this is where he meets Zeus (Samuel L. Jackson) for the very first time, as he helps keeps McClain from getting killed by some street kids. Zeus talks John into pretending like he just escaped form a mental hospital, which he isn’t to keen on, until one of the kids throws a switchblade at him, then McClain gets very much into the crazy role.

4) Beverly Hills Cop 2: Arguably one of the best sequels of all time, Beverly Hills cop had been among the first films to take a stab at being really funny, while their action very serious. In this favorite scene Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy), Det. William ‘Billy’ Rosewood’ (Judge Reinhold), and Sergeant Taggart (John Ashton) have cracked the code for the alphabet crime and are racing to the scene of the robbery. The scene is tense, and among the most well made scenes in the history of action films, but never too tense for some funny banter between Foley and his Beverly Hills counterparts.


Rosewood runs a red light] Sergeant Taggart: It's red! It's red! Billy Rosewood: It's green! [He hits another car] Billy Rosewood: All right, it was red. Axel Foley: It was yellow! (Screaming from the backseat)

3) Lethal Weapon: One of the original buddy cop pictures, in this unforgettable scene Roger Murtah (Danny Glover) and Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson) have both been captured by the bad guys. Murtah is being beaten in a chair, as the bad guys think he has information they want, in the mean time Riggs (in a different room) has escaped. McAllister (main bad guy) is beating Murtah and says; “come on’ threes no hero’s left in the world son,” when Riggs busts in shooting McAllister’s henchmen. Riggs: “who’s next? McAllister? Who’s Fu^$@g next!”

This original Weapon film was chock full of great moments, and it’s funny to watch it again now because you forget what a serious film the original was. All of the series were semi-serious, but the original was really quite edgy with Riggs being potentially suicidal. There is one very, good scene where Murtah challenges Riggs to blow his own brains out, and he almost does it, its very dramatic, and an awesome acting job by Mel Gibson.
2) 48 Hours: Eddie Murphy rousts a red neck bar. Reggie Hammond (Eddie Murphy) takes Jack Cates badge and gun to roust a bar full of hillbillies; Cates (Nick Nolte) is in the background but doesn’t participate.

Reggie Hammond: You start running a respectful business and I won't have to come in here and hassle you every night. You know what I mean? [to the bar patrons]
Reggie Hammond: And I want the rest of you cowboys to know something, there's a new sheriff in town. And his name is Reggie Hammond. So Y'all be cool. Right on.

Not only does this funny scene showcase the comedic talents of Eddie Murphy, but it is also one of the most memorable scenes in movie history. Also funny is moments before this scene Hammond tried to order a drink at the bar, to which the redneck barkeep suggests he has a black Russian.

Reggie Hammond: “Ha, ha. I get it, I’m black.”

1) Rush Hour: Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker sign war. When Chief Inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) and Detective James Carter (Chris Tucker) are on a stakeout they get very bored, and Lee starts trying to sign the song ‘war.’ James Carter can’t stand to listen to Lee’s version of the song, and begins tutoring him on finer points of signing with soul, and dancing. Soon enough Lee is teaching Carter how to take a gun from a suspect, and the bonding begins.

Maybe I have never been so pleasantly surprised in my life at a film, as when I saw Rush hour in the theatre. The ‘war’-bonding bonding scene is truly the best moment in buddy cop history.

COMING SOON: A great undertaking in the works, boys and girls. I will attempt to list the twenty greatest 'scenes' in movie history! I kow, it is a big project and very advantageous of me, but I promise you it will not affect my normal array of witty jokes, and irreverant humor.

American Idol, a one man show

American Idol is officially a one-man race. I was tuned in Wednesday night, as I am every week, to watch the boys sing. It was pretty much business as usual, a lot of goofy performances, some boring country and western attempts, and the usual banter between Simon and the three retards he has to talk to. All in all, it was the usual entertainment I have come to expect from an evening of American Idol, accept for the fact that Randy has lost his marbles (more on that later), and then Chris Daughtry took the stage and everything about American Idol changed on the spot. Last week Daughtry sang an amazing version of “Wanted dead or alive” by Bon Jovi, but he couldn’t possibly do that well again, could he? Not only did Chris do as well as last week, but he probably did better than any other contestant in the history of American Idol. Chris performed some ‘fuel’ and rocked the house so hard, that I completely forgot I was watching armatures on American Idol. I have never heard an armature sound that well before, Daughtry’s ability to sign rock n’ roll is more impressive than most signer’s. I think a lot of people can sound alright doing ‘pop’ Clay Aiken, and Ace are a dime a dozen, but I think it’s dam hard to sound great doing rock. Not only rock, but rock that is very fresh in our minds, Chris does songs we have all heard very recently but still manages to do it so well that it doesn’t come off as an impersonation. It’s a big risk to sign to Jovi, and Fuel and not come off as someone trying to do a complete replication, but Chris has unique, and strong enough voice to set that line of thinking off to the side completely. Daughtry also looks very natural on stage, and is totally realistic as a rock star. Chris will win this show easily (as long as they don’t make him sign classical one week) and is by the far the greatest performer in American Idol history; he will give the show some well-needed credibility.

Rand Jackson has lost his mind! I expect Paula to be a dope, that’s what she is, but Randy used to be as intelligent as Simon when it cam to realistically judging the contestants. This season Randy like everything, and there have been some horrific performances. Last night Jackson gave ‘props’ to Kevin Covais for his version of ‘grapevine’ the song was terrible, and Kevin sounded like a wet cat in a bag. Randy later dogged Jose ‘sway’ Panela who actually sounded pretty good signing Stevie Wonder. Jackson and Paula also gave compliments to Ace who really didn’t sound very good last night at all. I don’t know what is going on with randy Jackson, especially for someone who is supposedly in the ‘biz’ but it doesn’t matter how silly he is because this is Daughtry’s competition to lose. Maybe Paula has been making Randy dumber by association, theoretically Seacrest would have that effect on everyone there.

Forgive me guys, but I watched this event

(above) American silver medalist Tanith Belbin and some lucky guy.

I normally wouldn't even think about watching an event that was "ice" anything accpet hockey, but Jesus christmas......what a FOX!!! You'd be lieing if you didn't say Tanith was one of the hottest women to ever grace your T.V, she's certainly the hottest non-hollywood people I have seen in a great long time. My hats off to Tanith for winning a silver medal in Ice Dancing, and for making me watch something I normally wouldn't even dream of watching.

Whats so hot about Tanith? Aside from the obvious features that is, it's that great big smile. She actually looks like she's having fun doing what she does (hopefully second) best. It's not the look of a princess, of some girl who thinks she is the princess of Egypt, its natural, un-arrogant beauty at its best.

Torino olympics

Lindsey Jacobellis (above) returned home today, from the winter games.

Can't pick a movie to save your life?

Do you need help picking entertainment? Do you always wind up seeing the worst possible movie any given week? If you answered yes, your not alone, but help is here. My brother and his fiancé’ go to the movies virtually every week, and it has recently occurred to me that they virtually always see the worst films available to them. They complain, and rationalize the choices, but it’s the same, sad waste of twenty bucks week after week. I on the other hand have impeccable radar when it comes to excellent entertainment. I will give you some guidelines for picking the good from the bad, and the next time the lights on the theatre go back up, you’ll only be disappointed in the fact that your still sleeping with the same woman.

We’ll begin with a short quiz! Below is a list of movies currently listed at cross gates mall, cinema 18. Go through the list, and pick out a movie, and pretend you haven’t seen any of them.

1) An Awesome night with the beastie boys
2) Big Momma’s house 2
3) Broke back Mountain
4) Chronicles of Narnia (lion, witch, you know the one)
5) Curious George
6) Date Movie
7) Doogal
8)Eight Below
9) Final Destination 3
10) Firewall
11) Freedomland
12) Madea’s Family Reunion
13) Mrs. Henderson Presents
14) Nanny McPhee
15) Running Scared
16) The Pink Panther’
17) When a Stranger calls

1. If you selected “an awesome night with the Beastie Boys” please draw a bath and bring a toaster with you.


2. If you picked “Big Momma’s House 2” your best friend is taking a bath, please join him


3. Broke back Mountain is ONLY the correct choice if you are trying to get into the pants of an ultra-liberal woman.


4. Chronicles of Narnia, you’re getting warmer. Not a bad pick, especially if you have children.


5. Curious George: You better have kids with you


6. Date Movie. You have witnessed two straight terrible productions from this line. Scary movie 2 and 3 were both horrible! This isn’t a Zucker film, and thus a sell out comedy to pass on.


7. Doogal. You don’t know what this is, so don’t see it.


8. If you picked this film, “eight below” your taking kids to the movies.


9. Final Destination3. Ho-boy, you picked a movie that quite literally has nothing left to say. Given that the second film was a virtual “copy” of the first in every sense of the word, it’s a pass. Maybe you want to see some extreme death scenes, but there hasn’t been any evidence of those in the previews, so keep looking.


10. If you picked “Firewall” congratulations! You have selected the most watch able film on the board. I have heard bad things about this movie, but Harrison Ford wouldn’t even be in it, if it weren’t any good. Reminiscent of Patriot Games, and old school Ford action, this is guaranteed to give at least a few smiles.


11. If you picked “Freedomland” GOOD JOB, you are also correct!!!!! An intriguing story, with the promise of big plot twists, and the star power of Samuel L. Jackson who never fails to be gripping.


12. If you picked “Madea’s family reunion” you are off of the mark, but I know where you’re coming from. This character was very, very amusing in the previous film. The problem is, that when an extreme third character becomes the focus, its usually not as good. It’s like Kramer having his own show, not as funny.


13. If you picked “Mrs. Henderson Presents” you didn’t pick the right film, and your probably still trying to get laid, by showing off your keen intellect. I can let this one pass, since there are nude women in it, just cross you fingers that Judi Dench isn’t one of them.


14. You have little kids still, ok. “Nanny McPhee” but this is a bad option with Narnia on the board.


15. If you picked “Running Scared” you’re a tad off-of the mark, but this is pretty weak board. After Firewall, and Freedomland, this is correct choice C. The lead actors aren’t people who have given good performances in the past.


16. “Pink Panther” Children, ok. Steve Martin could possibly keep this amusing for the adults, so not a bad pick.


17. If you selected “When a Stranger Calls” you have chosen correct choice D. Remakes are tricky business, especially when the original was very good. This has the power of audiences not remembering the original, so that lends it some more currency.

What did you pick? Were you in the top four (A,B,C,D)? If not, pay attention, and I’ll lay down some ground rules.

1. Don’t march to the theatre with a certain blood lust. Don’t subject yourself to “the Devils Rejects” because your in the mood for a horror film, good slashers movies are hard to come by, save that passion for a flick like “the Ring”


2. Who’s in the dam movie? Some actors have the innate ability to entertain, no matter what film they are in. Bruce Willis, Denzel Washington, and a few others can salvage even the dumbest of pictures.


3. Who made (director) this movie? What have they done in the past? It’s ok if you don’t know anything, it could still be good, but if there last two films were………say……scary movie 2, and 3, you’re probably barking up the wrong tree. On the other side of the coin, is the director Ron Howard, or Sam Rami? Now you are definitely looking at a well-made picture. For example; when “The Da vinci Code” comes out, it will certainly be the most attractive film available. Howard, and Hanks==good.


4. If your starring a sequel down, ask if there is really anything left to say. Are there more stories to tell? Can a funny white guy make Blade 3 different enough to enjoy? A copy can be good sometimes, but only if the original cast is completely in place, and they can be creative enough to make you forget how much of a copy it is (Beverly Hills Cop 2 ****).

Several films are being release this coming Friday, but only one of them should be considered. 16 Blocks is a sure fire winner, with the director of the Lethal Weapon series, and Bruce Willis, this is can’t miss entertainment opportunity. If you go and see “Failure to Launch” don’t come crying to me, about how unfunny Terry Bradshaw is, I already know.