Sorry for the lag time, lots of posts coming next week.

I’m sorry loyal readers, I know my highly valued and anticipated insights have been on the sparse side recently, but I am promising a change! I am a full time student, but next week is spring break, and as such, there will be a plethora of new articles.

Coming soon:

-My take on the winter Olympics, there poor coverage by NBC, and that American ice dancer who is such a dam Fox…you know who.

-My list of the greatest scenes in the history of buddy-cop movies (our favorite genre)

-A game review of Fight Night Round 3. I can’t wait to work on this one for you!

-Rules for picking out good entertainment, a guide for the hopeless. A relative of mine has the worst radar for picking out good films to see, music to listen to, or even cloths to wear. It has come to my attention that there may be many more of you out there in desperate need of my help, so stay tuned.

Resident Evil 4 changes gaming

(above) A screen shot wouldn't do justice to this picasso of games.


I recently had knee surgery, which had me fairly immobile for quite some time, and I found myself with more free time on my hand than normal. I needed a good game to play while my ligaments healed, and I had long yearned to play the highly touted Resident Evil 4. My brother’s fiancé was kind enough to lend me a game cube, and even give me the game (my family and acquaintances shall remain nameless, due to my recent “Muslim series”). I was home from the hospital for only about an hour or so, when I finally felt cognizant enough to play, but little did I know Resident Evil 4 is more addictive than any drug or shot I had gotten at the hospital. I recently posted my “50 greatest video games” list, but let me assure you that Resident Evil 4 is easily in the top 3, and that not just the pain pills talking. There has only been two other gaming experiences for me that even come close to Resident4; GoldenEye, and Doom 3. After playing a game the caliber, I use caliber loosely because it’s really in a class of it’s own, I look at every other game on my shelf and wonder; why can’t any other title even come close to the level of this game? Resident Evil 4 raises the bar so high that it will take a Herculean effort to even come close to matching its overwhelming excellence. Graphics, sound, story, game-play, variety, mood, and length are all ridiculously better than anything before it. The environments of this masterpiece are so detailed, I could spend hours in any given area, and there is nothing that isn’t authentically depicted down to the very smallest of details. The shear variety of these breathtaking areas, it absolutely mind-blowing. Resident Evil 4 really makes you resent all of the relatively short games, you have played, knowing how much more can be packed onto one these discs. Every unique ands interesting aspect of any game you have played in the past fifteen years has been refined and incorporated into Resident 4. You play as Leon, a character fans of the series are familiar with, sent on a mission in the far reaches of the globe to track down the presidents kidnapped daughter. Leon stumbles upon a strange village where the natives are unexplainably hostile, they are not zombies, but being somewhat intelligent ad human makes them even scarier. The villagers speak Spanish and have no regard for their own safety and they attack Leon with great vigor, and for unknown reasons. This first chapter of the game feels very much like the Resident Evil style we are all accustomed to. There are green herbs, typewriters, and creepy moments of quiet anticipation. After we are immersed into this familiar environment and style, the game quickly rockets into something new, and doesn’t stop changing directions and topping itself until the very end, which come two discs later. The perspective is unique, a first person third person hybrid. It’s sort of over the shoulder, but it really makes you feel like you’re in Leon’s shoes. In addition to the perspective there is a traveling merchant that add a new aspect to the game. You may sell the treasure you collect, but beware some items may be combined and have much more retail value than if sold individually, you can use the money to buy a variety of items and weapons. In addition to the choice of weapons, you may also upgrade you artillery. Each firearm has upgrades for power; reload speed, bullet capacity, rate of fire, and one special upgrade only available if the weapon has been fully upgraded. This offers some interesting choices, because the money you collect is not limitless, you will have to decide which weapons you are most comfortable with, and which will be most useful before you drop a lot of benjermans into them. You may find yourself putting a lot of dough into a handgun only to find a new and better model for sale down the road, although upgraded weapons can be sold back at a pretty fair price. Another interesting aspect of Resident are it’s cut scenes, which are interactive. Through the cut scenes action may occur that will require a prompted hit of a button or two-button combination to save Leon’s life. It really makes things interesting to see the story line develop while also having to stay on your toes at the same time. The button combinations are also different almost every time, so they can’t be memorized. Resident 4 also has some puzzle solving, the puzzles are familiar as they are some of the best from the series past, but re-tooled with a really neat modern twist to them. They can all be solved with a little patience and thought, and are a good homage to the games origins. The game also features some team play reminiscent of the Code Veronica game, and sniper play, as well as some wild shooting rides on some unique vehicles. There are more special elements to this title than I can get into, and I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone who hasn’t experienced this yet, but let me assure you that they are all very gratifying. Very rarely, if ever before, can a game reach peaks in so many different ways as this title does. Resident 4 is creepy and rich with scary environments and anticipation, and it is also a white-knuckle thrill ride with plenty of machine gun fast paced survival. The variety of ways you can use your shots is also astounding, the enemies react to shot placement appropriately and have a variety of death animations. Your shots are placed with your laser sighting, but Leon’s hands aren’t completely steady and in the heat of battle, and in close corridors, it can be tough to get those shots, but all of your shots can be effective in some way. Should you shoot a bad guy in the leg, he will clutch it and be slowed down considerably, this can prove useful when your surrounded by enemies that require a number of shots to be put down for good. You can also knick the enemies hands, and arms, which may cause them to loose their weapons, Should you not be able to keep the hoard from reaching your position, and if your quick on the action prompts, you will be given an opportunity to perform some dodges and kicks, to buy you some more real-estate. The finishing shots are always an important part of an action/survival horror game, and Resident 4 has some of the best. Many games have cool head explosions, and deaths, but they very often wind up being mundane and forgetful by the time the game has ended, because you have seen it so many times. Resident 4 has an unbelievable variety of death styles that will keep you cringing and marveled to the very end. The enemies get so many different types of wounds, and demises that it really keeps this title super cinematic throughout. The sounds of all of these drastic events are every bit as impressive as the sights, the creepy chanting of Spanish religious cultist’s will echo in your ears for weeks. Glass breaking, gunshots, shrieks, and even the sound of walking through a puddle are all so darn real, you will be looking over your shoulder late at night. I could go on about this game for pages, but I could never do it justice, it is so far ahead of what we have been taught to expect from gaming it’s ridiculous. Resident Evil 4 is an experience as much as it is a game, and it will change your expectations completely, I had no idea what these consoles were capable of before this. Resident Evil 4 gets eight stars out of four, and six thumbs up!! If you haven’t played this yet, stop reading this sentence and go get it. Make some coffee, call in sick tomorrow and get ready to be absurdly entertained.

I am begging Nintendo to release more good titles
The Game Cube has shown me glimpses of this type of superiority in the past It never ceases to amaze me the potential of Nintendo, that little tiny box, those little tiny discs can pack a mighty punch. I really think if Nintendo would publish more mature, or even non-Mario based titles, I would most certainly own a game cube. All of the times I have borrowed a cube to play a game, like the last few Resident titles, have left me thinking that the machine is capable of considerably better graphics and sound than either the X-box or play station. If there were just enough good titles to play, it wouldn’t even be close. Resident Evil 4 on Nintendo looks and sounds better, than anything I have seen from the 360 so far, and I am not exaggerating. If only there were enough titles to play, game cube is by far the best graphical machine available.

North by Northwest is a true classic

I don’t often watch a lot of old time movies, but I have recently had an operation and as such lacked the will to change the channel. I started watching North by Northwest an Alfred Hitchcock film starring Carey Grant. I am ashamed to admit I had never before seen this classic, and I was happy to find it live up to it’s bill. A fabulous, brilliantly crafted, taught thrill ride. Cary Grant plays Roger Thornhill, a businessman who is mistaken for a spy by the bad guys. Thornhill is kidnapped and almost murdered, although he escapes and winds up at a police station. Much to Thornhill’s surprise the bad guys have cleaned up all of the evidence of their organization, and Grant’s character looks insane. He is later framed for a murder, and must spend the rest of the film running from both the authorities, and the bad guys who think he’s a spy. Thornhill is desperately trying to locate the man for whom he is mistaken, and his adventures get increasingly intense and confusing (in a good way) with each twist and turn. I wont give away any more of the plot, although I’m sure I’m one of few people around who hadn’t seen this masterpiece before. The movie is very tense, as is consistent with the Hitchcock legend. All of the actors are phenomenal, especially the beautiful Eva Maria Saint as Eve Kendall. If you are like me, and you never look up old films, you may want to change your ways for this flick.

Americans are giving in to terrorism

I am absolutely disgusted with the way people are playacting the Muslims right now. Every talking head, every politician, every newspaper, and every half-wit who can write a letter to the editor is bowing before these dangerous people. If I hear one more person say, “Those cartoons were so insensitive,” I’m going to be physically ill. Kissing these peoples butts because they are burning things down and rioting is giving in to terrorism. There is no difference between this and a bomb somewhere. Acts of violence to get your way is unacceptable. More than unacceptable, this is the precise reason that cartoonists and other want to make fun of these idiots, this so called religion is no better than some dangerous cult. I am especially disappointed in the president, George W. Bush. His comments on this situation are also disparaging especially for someone who is so intent on spreading freedom. The most important thing about freedom and democracy is freedom of speech, and the last time I checked that includes some carton about self-proven violent Muslims. My hats off to the Philadelphia enquirer, which is the only paper in this country with the guts to reproduce the cartoon, and stand up for everyone’s right to criticize whatever we see fit. Equally baffling are the liberals crying out against this insensitive cartoon, aren’t these the same people constantly rallying for women’s rights? Do they know how Muslims treat their women?? I’m starting to think that super liberals will like anything that is not of this country. It’s far time for people to stop this “insensitive” nonsense and start asking themselves why this cartoon was draw to being with? It was done because, Muslims represent a decadent, violent, and dangerous community that deserves to be scrutinized and ridiculed. Let me be the only person left in this wonderful FREE nation to say that Allah and Muhammad can kiss my fat A#*!! What a silly religion, the “prophet” is like our Easter bunny, maybe its time to grow up and join civilized society.

Heres the Danish cartoon that has Muslims upset

Aside from being a hilarious depiction of the "prophet" Muhammed, it also resembles one of the bad guys from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

NFL champion Pittsburgh Steelers know how to finish

The sixth seed in the American football conference would have to do what no other team had ever done before them. Win three straight road games, and defeat the top three seeded teams, just to have a chance at a neutral site game against the NFC’s best. The Steelers with an iron will, and unflappable confidence, did just that. Winning games in Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Denver, and Detroit. It may have been a sloppy superbowl but the Steelers did one thing that the Seahawks didn’t, they finished the game. There were many bad calls by the officiating crew, and many sloppy plays by the teams, but Pittsburgh keep chugging along and Seattle kept slipping. It was probably the worst game that the Steelers had played in the playoffs but their confidence and spirit rang true, as they just kept coming and coming.
The Seahawks moved the football very effectively in the first quarter but just kept making crucial mistakes on third downs. Their two first quarter possessions ended after third down holding penalties set up a couple third and forever, and nullified field goal chances. Their third drive culminated in a 47-yard Josh Brown field goal, after the most controversial play of the game. On first down from the Pittsburgh 16 yard line Matt Hasselbeck threw an apparent touchdown pass to Darrell Jackson, which was called back on offensive pass interference. There was some hand fighting back and forth, but Jackson clearly pushes off to get free for the catch. I actually think was a good call, simply because referees would certainly have called it the other way. Had Steeler cornerback, Ike Taylor, pushed the wide receiver in order to make a clean interception you can be sure the Seahawks would have been awarded a first and goal at the one. It wasn’t until the 8:15 mark of the second quarter that Pittsburgh finally mounted a drive. On the most spectacular play of the game Ben Roethlisberger made a tremendous effort on a third and twenty-eight. From the shotgun Roethelisberger was rushed from the pocket and out to his left, where he has the presence to toe the line of scrimmage carefully not stepping over it. “Big” Ben hurls the ball downfield and Hines Ward fights, and gets the catch at the Seattle three. It doesn’t look like a good throw at first glance, but if you think about the situation it really is. It’s 3rd and 28 if Pitt can’t convert they will punt, why not let Ward fight for ball? If the pass gets intercepted at the three it’s better than most punts anyway. Three plays later Roethlisberger scores on a QB keeper, and they second controversial play of the game. They reviewed the play to see if the ball crossed the plain, but it really couldn’t be seen with any clarity. I think the ball does nick the outside of the goal line, while Ben is in mid air, just before his arm is driven back by defenders. With 1:46 left in the half Seattle had another opportunity to get points, but they managed the clock poorly. Matt Hasslebeck, who was good all night, had been executing a crisp effective passing game in the half, yet Seattle ran the ball from the Pittsburgh 40 with 48 seconds left. The run only netted 4-yards and ran the clock down to 13 seconds. The running play is particularly curious given that Darrell Jackson missed catching a touchdown pass on the previous play, by a hair. Seattle missed a 54-yard field goal to all but end the half. Josh Brown had a rough game; he is usually one of the best long-range kickers in football. I really think Seattle lost this superbowl on their final drive of the first half, knowing what great adjustments Bill Cowher and his staff make, they must have known Jackson would be better covered in the second half. Jackson did not catch a pass in the second half, after having caught five balls for fifty yards in the first. The Steelers broke the game open on their first possession of the second half springing Willie Parker for a superbowl record 75-yard touchdown run. Steelers guard Alan Faneca, as he always does, threw a very nice block to help spring Parker. The Steelers took a 14 to 3 lead, and Seattle’s Josh Brown missed a 50-yard field goal on the ensuing possession. When Pittsburgh got the ball back they drove methodically down field to the Seahawks 7-yard line, thank to Hines Ward and Jerome Bettis. Just when it seemed Pitt was going to put the nail in the coffin, Roethlisberger threw a horrible pass intended for Cedric Wilson. The lazy throw on 3rd and 6 from the 7, was picked off by Kelly Herndon and returned to the Steeler 20 for 76 yards. This was also a superbowl record for longest return of an interception, and it would have been a touchdown if not for an outstanding effort by Atwaan Randle El who made the tackle. Three plays later Matt Hasselbeck found a wide-open Jeremy Stevens for a 16-yard touchdown. The score cut the Pittsburgh’s lead to 14-10. Although Stevens made this catch he was really the goat, he dropped many passes in this game. The next three possessions were punts, finally Seattle mounted a bit of drive in the forth quarter but it ended when Hasselbeck tossed a terrible pick to Steelers Ike Taylor at the Pitt 5. On the ensuing drive the Steelers sealed the deal with one of their so-called “gadget” plays. On first and ten from the Seattle 43 Roethlisberger pitched the ball to Willie Parker who gave it Randle El on an apparent reverse, when Randle El threw a beautiful pass to Hines Ward for a 43-yard touchdown. The reverse pass was executed magnificently, and WR Randle El probably threw the best pass of the game! Leading 21-10 the Steelers were in cruise control. Pittsburgh is murder with a lead, and they showed their ability to finish yet again. The Seahawks next drive ended with a conspicuous punt with 6:28 left in the game. It was 4th and long, Hasselbeck had just taken a sack, but down by two scores and at their own 48, I really didn’t think they could afford to punt.
On the Steelers next drive they picked up two first downs, one a great bootleg on 3rd and 3 by “Big Ben”, and ground the clock down to the 2:00 minute warning. The Seahawks turned the ball over on down on their final possession, and the Steelers had won their fifth franchise superbowl.

This was really a pretty good game, although there weren’t a lot of overly dramatic performance, and “Bus” didn’t score, it was a triumph for a team that was a six seed, and a grave disappointment for a one seed. I really don’t think Mike Holmgren can win without a decisive edge in talent, we often see Seattle go down in flames in big games. It was pretty clear to me that Cowher made big adjustments at the half, and Holmgren didn’t. Hines Ward was the games MVP, and it was well deserved, Ward did in the superbowl what he has always done for Pittsburgh. He makes big plays, he gets up field getting every inch he can, and he wins fights for footballs. Other than Ward the Steelers did what has made them special, they won as a team.

Stats: Hasselbeck was 26 of 49 for 273 yards. One touchdown and one interception.
Ben Roethlisberger was 9 of 21 for 123 no touchdowns and two interceptions.
Shaun Alexander ran 20 times for 90 yards.
Willie Parker ran 10 times for 93 yards and a score
Joe Jurevicius caught five passes for 93 yards
Hines Ward caught five for 123 yards

Muslim Magic eye

Sorry readers, Waldo has been removed from this picture and flown into a building.

Last stop, everyone off

Number 36 Jerome Bettis, 5-11 255 pounds. Born on February 16, 1972 in Detroit, Mi. Known better, and more affectionately as “The Bus.” In 1993 the Los Angeles Rams selected Bettis in the first round of the NFL draft with the 10th overall pick. It seemed as though Chuck Knox and Jerome Bettis were a match made in heaven, with a sensational rookie campaign. In 1993 “Bus” rushed for 1,429 yards and ran in seven touchdowns, averaging an astounding 4.9 yards per carry. He also caught 26 passes for 244 yards. Jerome continued his excellence, but after only three seasons he moved onto Pittsburgh where his legacy really began. Bettis has been the heart and soul of the Pittsburgh Steelers for ten seasons now, and this storybook is about to culminate in a fairytale ending. Jerome Bettis will never play football again after Sundays Super bowl, and going out after a hall of fame career in his hometown in the biggest game of his life is a stage you couldn’t have written.
Bettis redefined power running and to say he has a nose for the end zone would be a gross understatement. In the 97-98 season Bettis rushed for 1,665 yards seven TD’s and averaged an absurd 111.0 yards per game. He has had eight 1,000 yard campaigns in his 14 seasons. “Bus” has played in 192 regular season games and carried the football 3,479 times for 13,662 yards. He has run for 91 touchdowns, caught 3 touchdown passes, and he has thrown 3 TD passes. Bettis has caught 200 passes for 1,449 yards averaging 7.2 yards per catch. Despite all of these carries, and catches “Bus” has only lost a meager 22 fumbles.
How to drive the Bus: In his career Bettis has run wide right 183 times for 808 yards and 3 TD’s with a 4.4 yard average. He has run right 705 times for 2,636 yards, and 26 TD’s with a 3.7-yard average. He ran up the middle 1,282 times for 4,792 yards, and 39 TD’s with a 3.7-yard average. He has scampered left 756 times for 2,868 yards, and 13 TD’s with a 3.8-yard average. He has skipped it out wide left 258 times for 1,132 yards, and 3 TD’s with a 4.4-yard average. Bettis has carried the football 1,448 times for 5,780 yards and 35 scores when his team has been ahead. Jerome has 4.0 yards per carry average with the lead. It’s no great surprise that late in ball games when the opposition is tired is when Bettis punishes his opponents with that big agile frame of his.
Into the garage: Jerome Bettis has scored 30 touchdowns on first and goal situations, 20 on second and goal, 13 on third and goal, and 6 on fourth and goal. I haven’t seen a player who was so money from the goal line, since the late Walter Payton.
Not only can “Bus” play football, but also he is an outstanding human being as well, a credit to the city of Pittsburgh as well as to the Steelers organization. I remember seeing Jerome being interviewed on ESPN several years ago, Bettis was in his office at his home in Pittsburgh. Letters, drawings, and bobble head dolls all of which had been sent to him by children and his fans surrounded Jerome. It’s an image, and conversations I wont soon forget, a very big man, with a very big heart, wearing that great larger than life smile on his face. The next image I want to see is Jerome Bettis in the end zone, in super bowl 40, doing what he does best. Winning, and playing brilliantly.

Funny caption of the week

Those Truth in advertising laws are getting tougher, and tougher.

And the Raggie for funniest Muslim in a comedy goes to.........

The Raggies! A special award ceremony for the very funniest Muslims

You know what they say: spare the Katana, spoil the child.

What the world would look like if everyone were Muslim

One Nation under towels

Simon is American Idol, and what happened to Letterman?

I am so sick of hearing people bad mouthing Simon Cowell on television. “He’s so mean, why does he say those thing?” I saw Randy Jackson on the Daily show with Jon Stewart and they were talking about how unnecessarily mean Simon is. Am I the only person that realizes that there is no American Idol without Simon Cowell? Do you know how painfully boring that show would be if the three judges were constantly blowing smoke up everyone’s tail pipes like Paula Abdul? Telling somebody something nice after a horrific outing is more insulting than a jibe anyway. Abdul would have told the captain of the Titanic: “You made a mistake, but you have a beautiful spirit.” It’s cute sentiment, but now worth my half an hour of T.V time. If Cowell isn’t there neither am I

When did David Letterman stop telling jokes? The last few times I have seen “the Late Show” it’s been Dave trying to say something political. I saw him have Oprah on the other night, talking about Africa and other world issues for a half an hour, come on. If I want to hear about world issues I’ll go to MNBC and listen to people who are only mildly retarded, not The David Letterman Show. It’s sad too because he used to be funny, I want to see Dave making jokes not kissing Oprahs butt like she the president of CBS.

Muslims up in arms over catoon. The rest of us are up in arms over reality!

(above) Ninja Gaiden has gone mad
(Top picture) Nothing says "I have been mischaracterized as violent," like a machine gun.


It seems some carton has Muslims up in arms, literally. The cartoon apparently pictures the prophet Muhammad with a turban shaped like bomb on his head. This may upset the Muslim community, but the rest of us are upset by the reality of this violent religion. Have you ever noticed that you have never heard the word “Muslim” without it being attached to some kind of violent act or murder? The Muslims say that Muhammad is never supposed to be seen, sounds more like Casper the friendly ghost to me. To be honest with everyone right up until today I thought the Muslims were worshipping Muhammad Ali. Does anyone else find it disturbing that Muslims everywhere decide to protest this cartoon, which characterizes a religion as violent, with violence? Morons holding machine guns, starting fires, and wearing head gear most of us would hang in the bathroom. What’s more troubling than this is the fact that I turn on the news and see all of the major stations pacifying these animals. The editor of the paper where the cartoon was originally printed went to bat for his freedom of speech, and he got fired. Can you imagine such a thing? If some newspaper in this country ran a cartoon about Catholics, or Jesus, and the editor got fired over it, every talking head from morning till night would be calling him an American hero. I could see it now, CNN, MNBC, FOX, maybe not FOX but everyone else would lambaste the paper ruthlessly until the editor got his job back. We would celebrate our freedom of speech and even laugh at the cartoon because we are civilized. Don’t get me wrong, anyone who takes his religion too seriously usually has a screw loose, but the Muslims have taken insanity to the next level. It’s time to face facts about these backward, inbreed, zealot, nut-jobs. Take the silly towel off of your head, put down the rifle, wash your feet, get some socks, go to school, and stop blowing things up. About the only good thing these people usually do is cover up the faces of those God awful ugly women. From now on this blog will be your Muslim bashing headquarters, don’t like it? I’ll make a deal with all of you raggies out there; stop being violent and I’ll stop making fun.

Donkey surrounded by jackasses

Ferry carrying 1,300 Muslims sinks.

You see what happens when you get all those towels wet? You sink like a rock.

Dave Chappelle is off his rocker, and other types of people I hate.

People or traits I hate the most!

10) Anyone over the age of 60: Do us a favor grandpa, the next time you “confuse” the gas and the brake pedal, drive your car off a bridge and spare the 19 people at home Depot you usually mow down.
9) ESPN’s Paul McGuire: Good lord shut up!! Who cares if he has real life football experience, because he is completely incapable of relating that information to the audience? Stuttering, mumbling, bumbling, fool about sums up the broadcast abilities of Paul McGuire, the Anti- John Madden. Lets go to the checklist: Not funny, not intelligent, not insightful, and not perceptive. Hmmmm..you would think that ESPN, the self proclaimed world wide leader in sports, would find this disturbing, yet here we are week after week subjected to the damnation of Sunday Night Football. I especially like McGuire’s “phantom” replay. At least once a week McGuire calls for a replay where he points out something that never actually happened. “Wait till you see Julius Peppers” and of course Peppers was blocked onto his tail and didn’t even come close to impacting the play. Instead it would be someone who doesn’t even remotely resemble Peppers number, build, or even position. I am begging ESPN to cut ties with this idiot; he’s the only person in the world who can make Phil Simms, or Joe Theisman seem entertaining.
8)People that have to back into every single parking space: For crying out loud, is it really that much easier than backing out when you leave? Or is it that much more fun to hold up traffic at 8am when everyone is trying desperately to find their own parking spaces? Far be it from me to point out the fact that 9 times out of 10 by the time this clown leaves he’ll probably be able to pull straight through anyway, but then we wouldn’t be able to witness his cast like reflexes and superior driving skills. Don’t you want to ask these jerks, “are you robbing a bank? Do you need to make a quick get away?” You don’t ask, you just spilled coffee on yourself, because the jerk slammed on the brakes and started backing up, so you can back up and miss a chance at your own spot. This is probably the same ass that parks in-between two spots.
7) Jim Rome’s callers: Is there anything worse than listening to these lame brains spewing these un-humorous five-minute monologues? What ever happened to calling a radio show to ask a question? Or for some insight from the host? Than again it is the Jim Rome show, so I suppose insight is out of the question.
6) Dave Chappelle: Wow you are one sick ticket my friend. I saw Dave on Oprah and I can’t even begin to image how a person becomes such a sick, twisted, and demented moron. What on earth are you talking about! I don’t know what happened in Africa, but Mr. Chappelle dropped about 125 IQ points there. There’s nothing I love more than listening to someone who’s got a fifty million dollar contract complain about how he’s being taken advantage of. “The big bad white man is making me dance.” FOR FIFTY MILLION BUCKS, YOU JERK!!! You would think the producers of his show were throwing peanuts at him, or bringing his relatives to America in exchange for services. Why don’t Dave Chappelle and Terrell Owens get together and have a big old pity party. I’m sure Clinton will come, any opportunity to keep his ego maniac butt on the boob tube.
5) Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long: Can you believe these two guys sit around laughing all day at their own jokes? It’s unfortunate the audience doesn’t find it amusing. I’m not even mad, I actually feel sorry for Bradshaw. He makes such a fool out of himself every week, incapable of getting through an entire highlight package without stuttering, and getting hopelessly lost and behind. Take it form me folks; stick with ESPN until kickoff time. Berman, Jackson, Ditka, and Irvin are actually both entertaining and insightful.
4) Bill Clinton: Yeah you were president once, now go away!!
3) Terrell Owens: I don’t mind a football player who wants more money; after all they have a short span to try to make as much money as possible. I can understand wanting a great deal, your putting your body on the line. Just don’t say something retarded like “I need to feed my family.” I guess the Owens family needs extra cheese on their whoppers. How do you get to be so detached from reality, that you think your being screwed with millions of dollars? How do you lash out at Donovan McNabb who makes you look even better than you are? How do you get sufficient nutrition when Andy Reid attends all of your meals?
2) Ryan Seacrest: Maybe I’m missing something but isn’t a presenter, who tells jokes, supposed to be funny? If this tool rod stopped long enough to wipe that dumb smile off of his face, he might find that none else is smiling. People clap at the end of his bits because it’s the best part.

1. Gwen Stefani: I thought that “If I was a rich girl” was the worst song I had ever heard in my life right up until I heard “hollowback girl.” Not only does hollowback not make any sense but also it is simply the most intensely annoying sound I have ever been subjected to in my life. No discernible instruments of any kind, just some ex-stripper screeching sounds that could curl the hair of the dead.

Honorable mention: Howard Stern. The first time Howard asked one of his guests to take out her “boobies” I guess it was edgy, now it’s just pitifully un-clever. I have never heard so much insufferably, un-creative crap in my life. He should have said something witty, accidentally by now.

Statistics for the top 100 songs list

Upon further examination of my ‘greatest songs’ list, I have found some mildly interesting trends. The 80’s by far dominated the list with over fifty selections! We all knew that would be the case, the 80’s rule. The 70’s were second with fifteen selections, followed by the 60’s and 50’s in that order. I guess music keeps getting better over time UNTIL you get to the 90’s with only seven selections followed by the 00’s with a meager four picks.
Inside of those decades the greatest single year for music was 1981. 81' hauled in a stunning nine selections. 1986 was next with eight, It's also the year in which (season 85) the Bears won the Super Bowl, so I guess the stars were aligned for a perfect universe. After that 83' and 82' tie with six picks, and the last noteable year is 1977 with five. everything else is pretty evenly distributed, with two or three here and there. Why was there so much good music in the80's especially the middle to late 83-86? The economey was booming, and things were good all around. Perhaps we were in a better mood, and more receptive to up beat tunes. Maybe everyone just had more money to burn and we bought more albums. There isn't necessarily an answer, but it's interesting to think about.
The most successful label was Columbia with ten songs, followed by Epic with nine. A&M follows with six, and MCA and Geffen tied with five a piece.

Burger King is a grid iron legend

Ronald McDonald doesn’t have anything on sports legend the “king”
It isn't easy to be a fast-food icon and still have a career outside of burgers and fries. Many others have tried and failed. In the late 60's the colonel joined a competitive horshoe throwing league, it wasn't a year later he checked himslef into the Betty Ford Clinic. The Colonel couldn't handle any added pressure and he nearly gave away the secret herbs and spices before he reached out for help. This kind of collapse isn't limited to the deep south, you know the hamburgler wasn't always a criminal and the Taco Bell dog used to be long haired. I don't know what it is that makes the King so special, but as long as his whoppers are still flame broiled and delicous, were also darn luck to have him on sundays in the NFL.
I have estimated that the King had been in the NFL since at least 1985, but what’s more astonishing about his career than most is his diversity as a player. In an age of specialty players, long snappers and kickoff men, the King has played iron man football. Playing at least four different positions on offense and defense, and for seven different teams. The King has played for; San Francisco, Detroit, Dallas, Green Bay, Baltimore, Miami, and Minnesota. The King has scored at least six touchdowns in his seven stops, and has earned the respect and admiration of his coaches and peers. Among the great moments of a hall a fame career are an interception returned for a touchdown while with the Ravens. King jumped a sloppy pass into the flat thrown by Buffalo’s Drew Bledsoe. The King was young and brash, and his showboating in the end zone was not well received by the Buffalo crowd. When the King was in Dallas he spent time at Wide Receiver, as well as his normal duties as a starting cornerback, where he made a magnificent TD reception. Quincy Carter threw a pretty nice low and away pass into the back middle of the end zone, where the King made a great sliding, cradling catch. The King continued to excel at the receiver position in Minnesota and made headlines when he received a lateral from teamate Randy Moss and ran it into the endzone for a score on the final play of the half. The King would eventually play for the Lions and throw a touchdown pass when he first started to break out as a QB. Long before Detroit the King had moved to Green Bay where he took on return responsibilities. The King returned either a kickoff or a punt for a TD, and preceded to do the Lambeau leap in front of his adoring home crowd. When King got to Miami he was as respected as any veteran in the game. When the Miami Dolphins coach Don Shula made history it was the king who showered him with Gatorade, and embraced the coach. Finally the King got to the play for the 49ers where he began to emerge as a QB. Rarely does a player take up the position of quarterback so late in his career, but the King has not shown any wear and tear to this point. Against the Minnesota Vikings the King’s protection broke down and he scrambled some fifty yards for a touchdown, stumbling the last ten. Although the King is still a runner, and hasn’t yet fully mastered the nuances of the timing passing game, his physical abilities can’t be denied. Although this season is over, I certainly look forward to a good 2006 from the man with the funny smile.