Dave Chappelle is off his rocker, and other types of people I hate.
People or traits I hate the most!
10) Anyone over the age of 60: Do us a favor grandpa, the next time you “confuse” the gas and the brake pedal, drive your car off a bridge and spare the 19 people at home Depot you usually mow down.
9) ESPN’s Paul McGuire: Good lord shut up!! Who cares if he has real life football experience, because he is completely incapable of relating that information to the audience? Stuttering, mumbling, bumbling, fool about sums up the broadcast abilities of Paul McGuire, the Anti- John Madden. Lets go to the checklist: Not funny, not intelligent, not insightful, and not perceptive. Hmmmm..you would think that ESPN, the self proclaimed world wide leader in sports, would find this disturbing, yet here we are week after week subjected to the damnation of Sunday Night Football. I especially like McGuire’s “phantom” replay. At least once a week McGuire calls for a replay where he points out something that never actually happened. “Wait till you see Julius Peppers” and of course Peppers was blocked onto his tail and didn’t even come close to impacting the play. Instead it would be someone who doesn’t even remotely resemble Peppers number, build, or even position. I am begging ESPN to cut ties with this idiot; he’s the only person in the world who can make Phil Simms, or Joe Theisman seem entertaining.
8)People that have to back into every single parking space: For crying out loud, is it really that much easier than backing out when you leave? Or is it that much more fun to hold up traffic at 8am when everyone is trying desperately to find their own parking spaces? Far be it from me to point out the fact that 9 times out of 10 by the time this clown leaves he’ll probably be able to pull straight through anyway, but then we wouldn’t be able to witness his cast like reflexes and superior driving skills. Don’t you want to ask these jerks, “are you robbing a bank? Do you need to make a quick get away?” You don’t ask, you just spilled coffee on yourself, because the jerk slammed on the brakes and started backing up, so you can back up and miss a chance at your own spot. This is probably the same ass that parks in-between two spots.
7) Jim Rome’s callers: Is there anything worse than listening to these lame brains spewing these un-humorous five-minute monologues? What ever happened to calling a radio show to ask a question? Or for some insight from the host? Than again it is the Jim Rome show, so I suppose insight is out of the question.
6) Dave Chappelle: Wow you are one sick ticket my friend. I saw Dave on Oprah and I can’t even begin to image how a person becomes such a sick, twisted, and demented moron. What on earth are you talking about! I don’t know what happened in Africa, but Mr. Chappelle dropped about 125 IQ points there. There’s nothing I love more than listening to someone who’s got a fifty million dollar contract complain about how he’s being taken advantage of. “The big bad white man is making me dance.” FOR FIFTY MILLION BUCKS, YOU JERK!!! You would think the producers of his show were throwing peanuts at him, or bringing his relatives to America in exchange for services. Why don’t Dave Chappelle and Terrell Owens get together and have a big old pity party. I’m sure Clinton will come, any opportunity to keep his ego maniac butt on the boob tube.
5) Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long: Can you believe these two guys sit around laughing all day at their own jokes? It’s unfortunate the audience doesn’t find it amusing. I’m not even mad, I actually feel sorry for Bradshaw. He makes such a fool out of himself every week, incapable of getting through an entire highlight package without stuttering, and getting hopelessly lost and behind. Take it form me folks; stick with ESPN until kickoff time. Berman, Jackson, Ditka, and Irvin are actually both entertaining and insightful.
4) Bill Clinton: Yeah you were president once, now go away!!
3) Terrell Owens: I don’t mind a football player who wants more money; after all they have a short span to try to make as much money as possible. I can understand wanting a great deal, your putting your body on the line. Just don’t say something retarded like “I need to feed my family.” I guess the Owens family needs extra cheese on their whoppers. How do you get to be so detached from reality, that you think your being screwed with millions of dollars? How do you lash out at Donovan McNabb who makes you look even better than you are? How do you get sufficient nutrition when Andy Reid attends all of your meals?
2) Ryan Seacrest: Maybe I’m missing something but isn’t a presenter, who tells jokes, supposed to be funny? If this tool rod stopped long enough to wipe that dumb smile off of his face, he might find that none else is smiling. People clap at the end of his bits because it’s the best part.
Honorable mention: Howard Stern. The first time Howard asked one of his guests to take out her “boobies” I guess it was edgy, now it’s just pitifully un-clever. I have never heard so much insufferably, un-creative crap in my life. He should have said something witty, accidentally by now.
10) Anyone over the age of 60: Do us a favor grandpa, the next time you “confuse” the gas and the brake pedal, drive your car off a bridge and spare the 19 people at home Depot you usually mow down.
9) ESPN’s Paul McGuire: Good lord shut up!! Who cares if he has real life football experience, because he is completely incapable of relating that information to the audience? Stuttering, mumbling, bumbling, fool about sums up the broadcast abilities of Paul McGuire, the Anti- John Madden. Lets go to the checklist: Not funny, not intelligent, not insightful, and not perceptive. Hmmmm..you would think that ESPN, the self proclaimed world wide leader in sports, would find this disturbing, yet here we are week after week subjected to the damnation of Sunday Night Football. I especially like McGuire’s “phantom” replay. At least once a week McGuire calls for a replay where he points out something that never actually happened. “Wait till you see Julius Peppers” and of course Peppers was blocked onto his tail and didn’t even come close to impacting the play. Instead it would be someone who doesn’t even remotely resemble Peppers number, build, or even position. I am begging ESPN to cut ties with this idiot; he’s the only person in the world who can make Phil Simms, or Joe Theisman seem entertaining.
8)People that have to back into every single parking space: For crying out loud, is it really that much easier than backing out when you leave? Or is it that much more fun to hold up traffic at 8am when everyone is trying desperately to find their own parking spaces? Far be it from me to point out the fact that 9 times out of 10 by the time this clown leaves he’ll probably be able to pull straight through anyway, but then we wouldn’t be able to witness his cast like reflexes and superior driving skills. Don’t you want to ask these jerks, “are you robbing a bank? Do you need to make a quick get away?” You don’t ask, you just spilled coffee on yourself, because the jerk slammed on the brakes and started backing up, so you can back up and miss a chance at your own spot. This is probably the same ass that parks in-between two spots.
7) Jim Rome’s callers: Is there anything worse than listening to these lame brains spewing these un-humorous five-minute monologues? What ever happened to calling a radio show to ask a question? Or for some insight from the host? Than again it is the Jim Rome show, so I suppose insight is out of the question.
6) Dave Chappelle: Wow you are one sick ticket my friend. I saw Dave on Oprah and I can’t even begin to image how a person becomes such a sick, twisted, and demented moron. What on earth are you talking about! I don’t know what happened in Africa, but Mr. Chappelle dropped about 125 IQ points there. There’s nothing I love more than listening to someone who’s got a fifty million dollar contract complain about how he’s being taken advantage of. “The big bad white man is making me dance.” FOR FIFTY MILLION BUCKS, YOU JERK!!! You would think the producers of his show were throwing peanuts at him, or bringing his relatives to America in exchange for services. Why don’t Dave Chappelle and Terrell Owens get together and have a big old pity party. I’m sure Clinton will come, any opportunity to keep his ego maniac butt on the boob tube.
5) Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long: Can you believe these two guys sit around laughing all day at their own jokes? It’s unfortunate the audience doesn’t find it amusing. I’m not even mad, I actually feel sorry for Bradshaw. He makes such a fool out of himself every week, incapable of getting through an entire highlight package without stuttering, and getting hopelessly lost and behind. Take it form me folks; stick with ESPN until kickoff time. Berman, Jackson, Ditka, and Irvin are actually both entertaining and insightful.
4) Bill Clinton: Yeah you were president once, now go away!!
3) Terrell Owens: I don’t mind a football player who wants more money; after all they have a short span to try to make as much money as possible. I can understand wanting a great deal, your putting your body on the line. Just don’t say something retarded like “I need to feed my family.” I guess the Owens family needs extra cheese on their whoppers. How do you get to be so detached from reality, that you think your being screwed with millions of dollars? How do you lash out at Donovan McNabb who makes you look even better than you are? How do you get sufficient nutrition when Andy Reid attends all of your meals?
2) Ryan Seacrest: Maybe I’m missing something but isn’t a presenter, who tells jokes, supposed to be funny? If this tool rod stopped long enough to wipe that dumb smile off of his face, he might find that none else is smiling. People clap at the end of his bits because it’s the best part.
- Gwen Stefani: I thought that “If I was a rich girl” was the worst song I had ever heard in my life right up until I heard “hollowback girl.” Not only does hollowback not make any sense but also it is simply the most intensely annoying sound I have ever been subjected to in my life. No discernible instruments of any kind, just some ex-stripper screeching sounds that could curl the hair of the dead.
Honorable mention: Howard Stern. The first time Howard asked one of his guests to take out her “boobies” I guess it was edgy, now it’s just pitifully un-clever. I have never heard so much insufferably, un-creative crap in my life. He should have said something witty, accidentally by now.
posted by sanpiper at 12:32 AM
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