Movie quiz

Do you need help picking entertainment? Do you always wind up seeing the worst possible movie any given week? If you answered yes, your not alone, but help is here. My brother and his fiancé’ go to the movies virtually every week, and it has recently occurred to me that they virtually always see the worst films available to them. They complain, and rationalize the choices, but it’s the same, sad waste of twenty bucks week after week. I on the other hand have impeccable radar when it comes to excellent entertainment. I will give you some guidelines for picking the good from the bad, and the next time the lights on the theatre go back up, you’ll only be disappointed in the fact that your still sleeping with the same woman.We’ll begin with a short quiz! Below is a list of movies currently listed at cross gates mall, cinema 18. Go through the list, and pick out a movie, and pretend you haven’t seen any of them. Note: New releases are given preferential treatment over films that have been out for a week or more.

Don’t cheat. Pick your top 4 before you look at the answers (A,B,C,D).


1)ATL
2)Akellah and the bee
3)American Dreamz
4)Failure to Launch
5)Friends with money
6)Hoot
7)Ice age: The Meltdown
8)Inside man
9)Lucky Number Sleven
10)Mission Impossible III
11)Phat Girlz
12)Posieden
13)Scary Movie 4
14)Silent Hill
15)Stay Alive
16)Take the Lead
17)Thank you for smoking
18)The Benchwarmers
19)The Sentinel
20)The Wild
21)V for Vendetta
22)Wide spread panic: Earth to America



Answers:

1. Did you choose ATL? I hope not because this movie is DOA.


2. Akellah and the bee?? If your taste is this bad, I suggest you go see ATL.


3. American Dreamz. A humerous parady of American Idol was inevitable, but this doen’t look like the one.


4. Did you pick Failure to Launch? I’m sure you could do worse, but I’m positive you can do better


5. Friends with mony, lets keep it that way and not waste $20 on this piece of crap


6. Hoot. It’s shame those truth in advertising laws aren’t tougher.


7. Ice age 2: The Meltdown. Positive this is a great film for kids, and adults alike. Great choice for the family man.


8. If you picked Inside man your cooking! Denzel Washinton is almost always money in the bank, and mixed reveiews have me even more sure this is a good flick.


9. Luck Number Sleven. Ding, ding, ding!!! By far the best picture than has been out for a week or more. Willis, Freeman, and Hartnet are astounding in this hip and stylish thriller/mystery.


10. Mission Impossible III. It looks cool, but I’m put off by the fact that Aliens (our true creators) aren’t in any of this picture. How can that happen?


11. Don’t pick Phat Grilz. You can see this at the sizzler any time you want.


12. Congradulations! You picked this weeks choice B Poseidon. A Titanic for those of us who don’t like drippy romance.


13. Scary Movie 4. I don’t know, only the first of this series was even remotely humerous. The only reason I hesitate is because Leslie Neilson is in it, and he’s the all time master in arms at the goofball comedy.


14. You picked Silent Hill, this weeks correct choice C. Video Game movies are dangerous business, but the “R” rating tells me that this wont be a sell out. This is a horror that means business, and isn’t just interested in selling as mang tickets as possible to teeny-boppers.


15. If you picked Stay Alive, you should be labotomized. Go see silent Hill, and don’t even think about this B-rate disaster.


16. Did you pick Take the Lead? Maybe take your temperature, your sick.


17. Thank you for smoking, your welcome. I’m in no mood to see cigarettes, nor am I het reformed enough to recommend this.


18. You picked the Benchwarmers. Good pick, this looks reallly funny, and has a lot of funny people in it. Rob Schneider always makes me laugh, I even thought the Animal was funny.


19. AHHHHHHHH! You did it, if you picked The Sentinel. This weeks clear cut choice A. Keiffer Sutherland and Michael Douglas deliver a cool political thriller, I can’t wait to see this one myself.


20. If you picked The Wild, you should be beatin with a rubber hose. Go take your kids to see Ice Age 2, you bastard!


21. V For Vendetta, I thoughroughly enjoyed this movie, however it has come to my attention that I may have been less than perceptive to its underlying messages. I will not comment at this time, I must view this picture again.


22. If you picked Wide spread panic: Earth to America, go get an ice pick and put you F#@%ing eyes out, you don’t need them anymore.

Answer Key: A-The Sentinel B-Poseidon C-Silent Hill D-Lucky Number sleven
Honorable mention: Benchwarmers, and MI3.

What did you pick? Were you in the top four (A,B,C,D)? If not, pay attention, and I’ll lay down some ground rules.
1)Don’t march to the theatre with a certain blood lust. Don’t subject yourself to “the Devils Rejects” because your in the mood for a horror film, good slashers movies are hard to come by, save that passion for a flick like “the Ring”
2)Who’s in the dam movie? Some actors have the innate ability to entertain, no matter what film they are in. Bruce Willis, Denzel Washington, and a few others can salvage even the dumbest of pictures.
3)Who made (director) this movie? What have they done in the past? It’s ok if you don’t know anything, it could still be good, but if there last two films were………say……scary movie 2, and 3, you’re probably barking up the wrong tree. On the other side of the coin, is the director Ron Howard, or Sam Rami? Now you are definitely looking at a well-made picture. For example; when “The Da vinci Code” comes out, it will certainly be the most attractive film available. Howard, and Hanks==good.
4)If your starring a sequel down, ask if there is really anything left to say. Are there more stories to tell? Can a funny white guy make Blade 3 different enough to enjoy? A copy can be good sometimes, but only if the original cast is completely in place, and they can be creative enough to make you
forget how much of a copy it is (Beverly Hills Cop 2 ****).